The daring young Nome on the flying trapeze

My daughter has really become addicted to the flying trapeze. She takes lessons at least once a week and is getting pretty good. Watch Nome fly through the air here - and get a nice round of applause. But first the catcher ("come on old man") has to swing high enough to get into proper catching position.

(Careful with the audio - the sound is set a little high.)

Le Leche League

Breast-feeding pioneer Edwina Froelich founder of Le Leche League died recently at the age of 93. It seems odd to have a breast-feeding pioneer, since women have been doing it for the entire history of human existence, and it is one of the definitions of being a mammal.*

But admitting humans are mammals was apparently out of fashion in the 1950s. According to Froelich's NYTimes obituary:

At a time when most pediatricians encouraged formula and bottle-feeding and when there were few scientific studies demonstrating the health benefits of breast milk, Mrs. Froehlich chose to breast-feed all of her babies, said another La Leche founder, Mary White.

"We used to tell the mothers the three main obstacles to successful breast-feeding were doctors, hospitals and social pressure," Mrs. White said.

In 1956, when Mrs. White and a friend, Marian Tompson, decided to start a community organization to support and educate local breast-feeding mothers, Mrs. Froehlich was one of the first women they approached. Soon, monthly meetings were being held in Mrs. Froehlich’s home, and a new phone line was installed so she could answer questions coming in from mothers across the country, Mrs. White said.

"We didn't have any information," said Mrs. Tompson, another of the original group of seven La Leche League founders. "There weren’t any books out there, and women just didn’t talk about these things. Only 18 percent of women in the U.S. left the hospital breast-feeding at that time."

Things had improved by the time I was breast feeding, but even as late as 1997, the state of New Jersey enacted a law that sets forth the importance of breast-feeding, and clarifies that women have a right to breast-feed her baby in public.

And still, to this day women are harrassed for breastfeeding in public. In 2006 some women staged a breast-feeding protest

in front of the Delta Airlines ticket counter. The mothers were protesting as a result of a prior incident in which Emily Gillette was breast-feeding her child on a Delta Airlines flight prior to take off when the flight attendant told her to cover her breast feeding child with a blanket. The flight attendant had Gillette and her family removed from the plane when the mother declined to cover her baby.

Luckily I was never harassed, but then I didn't breast-feed in public very much, since the stares were enough to mortify you into stopping. Which means I was much less likely to go out in public, since if you are lactating, there are all kinds of annoyances if your breasts aren't milked every couple of hours or so. It is very uncomfortable walking around in public while your breasts are heavy and swollen with milk, or you are visibly leaking through your blouse.

I definitely envy new mothers with access to the Internet - wish I had when my daughter was a baby. There's even a video on how to breast feed online.

*Characteristics of all mammals
1. They are endothermic vertebrates.

2. They have hair, which varies greatly among species.

3. Most have sudoriferus (sweat) glands.

4. They have mammary (milk-secreting) glands.

5. They have sebaceous (fat-secreting) glands.

6. They have heterodont dentition (different types of teeth).

Religious guys support pedophilia. In other news, the sun will rise in the morning

One morning last month, Arwa Abdu Muhammad Ali walked out of her husband’s house here and ran to a local hospital, where she complained that he had been beating and sexually abusing her for eight months.

That alone would be surprising in Yemen, a deeply conservative Arab society where family disputes tend to be solved privately. What made it even more unusual was that Arwa was 9 years old.

Within days, Arwa — a tiny, delicate-featured girl — had become a celebrity in Yemen, where child marriage is common but has rarely been exposed in public. She was the second child bride to come forward in less than a month; in April, a 10-year-old named Nujood Ali had gone by herself to a courthouse to demand a divorce, generating a landmark legal case.

Together, the two girls’ stories have helped spur a movement to put an end to child marriage, which is increasingly seen as a crucial part of the cycle of poverty in Yemen and other third world countries. Pulled out of school and forced to have children before their bodies are ready, many rural Yemeni women end up illiterate and with serious health problems. Their babies are often stunted, too.

The average age of marriage in Yemen’s rural areas is 12 to 13, a recent study by Sana University researchers found. The country, at the southern corner of the Arabian Peninsula, has one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the world.

“This is the first shout,” said Shada Nasser, a human rights lawyer who met Nujood, the 10-year-old, after she arrived at the courthouse to demand a divorce. Ms. Nasser decided instantly to take her case. “All other early marriage cases have been dealt with by tribal sheiks, and the girl never had any choice.”

But despite a rising tide of outrage, the fight against the practice is not easy. Hard-line Islamic conservatives, whose influence has grown enormously in the past two decades, defend it, pointing to the Prophet Muhammad’s marriage to a 9-year-old. Child marriage is deeply rooted in local custom here, and even enshrined in an old tribal expression: “Give me a girl of 8, and I can give you a guarantee” for a good marriage.

More in the NYTimes

Stress videos

Nobody whines and complains about NYCPlaywrights more than me. Since I began the group with my ex-boyfriend in November 2000 I have seen my share of lousy plays written by crazy or conceited or right-wing (or sometimes all three) people. Some nights I go home asking myself "why do I DO this?" But every now and then we'll have a really good meeting with good (or at least not egregiously bad) plays and a great feeling of a community of artists. And if nothing else, running the group week after week forces me to write plays on a regular basis, and I've accumulated quite a few over eight years. I decided to put some of them together for an evening of short plays called STRESS AND THE CITY. We did a reading of the plays on Wednesday and I videotaped them. Watch the videos here.

Good show!

We had a great reading of my STRESS AND THE CITY at NYCPlaywrights last night. I will be posting video excerpts here soon.

So I got more negative feedback about my directing recently. I certainly could have done better at directing if I wasn't swamped with production duties for JANE EYRE, but while plenty of people would like to direct, NOBODY wants to do the nasty chore of production work without being paid very well for it. And although many actors seem to think I'm made of money, I am most definitely not.

So I will have to continue to both produce and direct. So the only remedy is to learn to be good at both, while doing both at the same time.

As I said before, part of my problem as a director is perception - being female automatically means your work is valued less. And this isn't just some paranoid feminist conspiracy theory - this is based on empirical testing - the blind auditions study which I've blogged about before:

Among musicians who auditioned in both blind and non-blind auditions, about 28.6 percent of female musicians and 20.2 percent of male musicians advanced from the preliminary to the final round in blind auditions. When preliminary auditions were not blind, only 19.3 percent of the women advanced, along with 22.5 percent of the men.

Using data from the audition records, the researchers found that blind auditions increased the probability that a woman would advance from preliminary rounds by 50 percent. The likelihood of a woman's ultimate selection is increased several fold, although the competition is extremely difficult and the chance of success still low.

As a result, blind auditions have had a significant impact on the face of symphony orchestras. About 10 percent of orchestra members were female around 1970, compared to about 35 percent in the mid-1990s. Rouse and Goldin attribute about 30 percent of this gain to the advent of blind auditions.

"Screens have been a very important part of the whole audition process," Nelson said. "My sense is that blind auditions have made a tremendous difference in the amount of hiring discrimination women face."

And Elizabeth Spelke had done her own work on the subject of female-name CVs being rated lower than male-name CVs, for the exact same CV.

Clearly the Bronte sisters had the right idea when they published their work initially under male-sounding pen names. And the discrimination continues to this very day.

Which is not to say that all women would make great stage directors. But clearly directors with male names are likely to be given the benefit of the doubt.

Several audience members said good things about my work as a director, and even the critics made positive, if indirect comments about my work.

Often if an actor's performance is lacking, the director will be blamed. One of the critics of JANE EYRE said this about the show:

the acting hits on all cylinders

Now if the acting did NOT hit on all cylinders, I am sure I would have been blamed for it. So conversely I think I should get credit for the acting hitting on all cylinders. Although since I didn't hide my female name, I'm sure the critics were less likely to give me credit as a director. And by the way, women are just as likely to carry around unconscious sexist attitudes when evaluating females - as Spelke's CV study showed - as males, so the fact that all the critics who came to JE are female does nothing to reduce the likelihood of being penalized for being female.

In any case what it boils down to is this: do a show under imperfect conditions OR don't do a show at all. I think it's better to do the show under imperfect conditions. But any actors who won't work under less than perfect conditions are invited not to take my money for acting in my plays.

A Sense of Direction

My actor friend Bruce Barton recently informed me that when it comes to theatre, and writing, producing and directing, I am weakest at directing. But the only critique I could get out of him on my directing was that I don't always use rehearsal time efficiently because I spend too much time feeding the cast and crew. Although when we mentioned it to actor Nat Cassidy, he offered that he's always thrilled to get free food.

I think there's more to my directing issue than feeding actors - but wow wouldn't that be nice, if all I had to do was spend less money.

Interestingly, several audience members from JANE EYRE told me they loved my direction. And mind you, this was in the face of many technical difficulties, including a stage crew that made the scene changes far slower than they should have been - although over the course of the 3-week run I did what I could to improve that situation.

I've had so many bad experiences with directors that I will probably always direct my own work. So of course I'm always looking to improve - I don't have the luxury of going to college to study it. But it isn't brain surgery either, although so many self-important directors would have you think so.

One aspect of directing that I will have to improve on is presenting myself as more of an authority figure. Being a woman automatically means that will be an uphill battle. But it's necessary to be an authority and a bit bossy - too many actors are liable to view you in contempt if you are too nice and accomodating, I have found. And it isn't just male actors - three of the most obnoxious, disrespectful actors I've ever had to deal with have been women.

My favorite text on the subject of directing for theatre is William Ball's "A Sense of Direction" - more on that soon.

Mr Fuzz!

It's hard to make videos with my Mac laptop because Mr. Fuzz keeps getting in the way!

Actor added to NYCP reading

Actor Wayne Henry of Emerging Arists Theatre and Henry and Stein has agreed to participate in my reading at NYCPlaywrights this week. Yay!

The Lovely Rae

In the Village Voice - she was in the Mermaid Parade - the one with the pink parasol on the left.

Actors Inequity

Actors' Inequity - Performing because we love it ... and we got cast

Even their web site is a spoof of the appearance of the Actors' Equity Association web site.

They link to an interesting web site GotPay which says:

GOT PAY? was formed in March of 2005 in response to the many formidable Cleveland area advertisers who regularly cast non-union actors in their commercials for NO PAY! Many of the professional artists in our community view this as a damaging practice for all area artists if we hope to grow and thrive. A heated, web-based debate culminated in organizing our first free public meeting of artists mentoring artists called: PAY vs NO PAY- A Discussion of Your Worth. See GOT OVERVIEW?

GOT PAY? is now an artists advocacy organization, dedicated to providing a comprehensive resource of professional, performance and service rates, standards and practices. Whether you are a professional or amateur actor, singer, dancer, writer, producer, director, musician, wardrobe or makeup artist, prop or wig master, lighting technician, set designer, stage manager or other creative artist, we hope this will be a safe place to ask questions, share your thoughts and put the "Business" in your Show Business career.

We realize that not all art forms are created equal. Most theaters, independent film makers and dance companies have very limited budgets and profit margins. However, NO ONE should appear in radio or tv commercials for less than the established union rates. See GOT RATES?

Actor wanted

OK, one of the actors from my upcoming reading at NYCPlaywrights (this Wednesday) had to drop out - if anybody who reads this blog knows of a good male actor in the 20s-30s age range, have him contact me at nancy at mergatroyd dot org.

Thanks!

Greetings Pantaloons

I've blogged a couple of times about the performance I saw at the Edinburgh Fringe last year of A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM performed by The Pantaloons in the Royal Botanical Gardens. I posted a 4 and a half minute excerpt from the performance online. Mark Hayward, the guitarist in the clip, just posted a comment (see the post on Wednesday, June 11, 2008)

I did not stay for the whole performance, unfortunately - it was in the middle of August yet I was freezing! I had to go into the little cafe nearby and get warm. But I did tape more than 4 and a half minutes and I will be putting that online for Mark and any other Pantaloons who may visit.

=======
UPDATE

I've posted all 5 parts of my video of the performance online. Watching the first one reminds me that in fact my daughter and I were on a walking tour which eventually took us to the Firth of Forth, and didn't realize there was a Fringe show at the Royal Botanical Gardens - we just wanted to see the Gardens. You can hear me in the first tape saying it isn't a children's show as I thought, but rather AMSND.

Watch all 20+ minutes here:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5 - aka Midsummer Shrub

Kit & Little Boots

Nat Cassidy has a Hamlet fixation. I called it last night at a performance of his play The Reckoning of Kit & Little Boots. And then Nat confirmed it when I had drinks with him and actor Bruce Barton afterwards. At one point Kit - that's Christopher Marlowe to you - is being cradled in the arms of his pal Bill Shakespeare, like Hamlet being held by Horatio. There are also some lines in the play that sound right out of HAMLET.

Nat's played the Great Dane on at least two occasions, while in college in Tuscon AZ (see picture on the left and read the review here) and more recently, on a merry-go-round in Brooklyn for the Czechoslovak-American Marionette Theater. I saw a video performance of the first, and the second in person. He's very good in both. I'm not sure I'm crazy about his fixation spilling over into his play about Christopher Marlowe though.

The KIT play has been getting an enthusiastic audience response - Bruce really liked it, and so did Martin Denton - so I feel like the big freak because I didn't love it too.

Nat and I just had an email debate about the play actually. I think the play is over-intellectuallized in striving to be about, in Nat's own words, "the creative process." As a result I think it's less emotionally affecting than it could be. I also think it needs a tighter narrative structure. And he needs to drop Marlowe's sisters and include a boyfriend instead.

We agreed to disagree.

I would say that in general too many plays try to be clever and cutting-edge at the expense of emotional impact. In my opinion, what a playwright should try to do is give the audience an emotional orgasm. And you can't do that unless you make the audience experience something happening to the characters. Having the characters tell you about something that happened to them in the past is not nearly as effective for building an emotional climax.

I also think that if you want an intellectual discussion, read the works of philosophers. Art is about beauty and emotion.

Nudity Required, No Pay

UPDATE - the idiots who run Google banned this post, probably because they are now using AI to do their moderating. If you can see this it's because they realized that the title "Nudity Required, No Pay" refers to A BLOG THAT EXISTS ON BLOGGER and there's no sane reason to ban it.

I will be migrating this blog to a different platform at my earliest convenience. I assume that's what Google wants, since they have decided to make the least effort to moderate Blogger content, by using AI. What losers. 

The blog about the ever-popular practice of actor exploitation

A typical ad - with Gabby's comments

I Love Commercials With A 'Strip Club' Feel!
Video Shoot and Commercial Auditions Tommorrow 5-5-08! (Midtown)
Reply to: XXXXX.com
Date: 2008-05-04, 8:58PM EDT

Music Video Shoot and Commercial Auditions Tommorrow! XXXXX at 12:00 P.M. sharp! @ Krystals: 79-21 Queens Blvd. Sexy and elegant females (all types, 18-40 or signed consent) needed for video shoot and auditions for upcoming projects including an exotic car commercial (Ferrari) and music videos. Arrive video ready, including hair and makeup (done), and wardrobe with a stripper club feel to it. (Strip club feel and elegant? I think that's a tall order.) Paid Compensation. For further information contact Vaughn at XXXXX.com. Eligibility T.B.D. solely by client.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

I mean, let's face it - what can't strippers sell???

More on my bete teale

Well I've googled til my googler was sore, and I can't find ANY negative reviews of Polly Teale's supremely annoying adaptation of Jane Eyre, except the one by Michael Feingold in the Village Voice. So I'll repeat it here:

Meaning to view the myth through a modern feminist prism, Teale exploits a predictable strategy: The mad wife locked up in Mr. Rochester's attic is the heroine's Doppelgänger (or more precisely Doppelgängerin), beginning as the naughty second self for whose misbehavior her aunt punishes her in childhood. Extending this English-department notion over three hours of theater produces exactly the diminishing returns you'd expect— especially since, in accordance with the official feminist rules for approaching nonfeminist women's literature, the principal male figure has to be utterly deromanticized. Or—no doubt—it's sheer and utter coincidence that Penny Layden is a touching (though pinchily dry) Jane, Harriette Ashcroft an effective madwoman, and Sean Murray's Rochester a gravelly, emotionally monotone disaster of a performance. His mastiff, growled by Michael Matus, has more subtlety as well as more animation, and those spectators who come back for the second half must be among the very few who have ever hoped Jane Eyre would forget Rochester and marry St. John Rivers, to whom Matus gives a glowing idealist zeal.

That's certanly a bad sign if the audience wants Jane to go off with St. John. Nobody in the audience for my production wanted that. Except my mom.

Jane's inheritance

I want to address another complaint I have about my bete noire, Polly Teale's adaptation of "Jane Eyre."

I've already addressed the issue of Teale turning Bertha into Jane's alter ego. This choice throws off the narrative structure of the original novel completely. But not just the narrative structure - Teale's version completely obscures an issue that was so important to Charlotte Bronte, and therefore to Jane Eyre - financial independence.

Thinking about the St. John scenes reminded me of this because while Jane is in Morton with St. John, in the novel (and my adaptation) Jane receives her inheritance from her Uncle John. Teale leaves the inheritance out of her version completely.

In the published script of her adaptation, Teale explains:

For a Victorian woman to express her passionate nature is to invite the severest of punishment. Jane must keep her fiery spirit locked away if she is to survive. Could it be that Jane and the madwoman are not in fact opposites. That like all the most frightening ghosts Bertha Mason exists not in the real world but in Jane's imagination?

Now of course most people would rather hear about passion and ghosts than economics. But the reason that Victorian women could not express passion was because they were at the economic mercy of men, and could not afford to base their lives on their own desires - especially sexual desires. Charlotte Bronte was extremely, painfully aware of this fact her entire life.

I only wish that the ghost of Charlotte Bronte was real enough to haunt Polly Teale for twisting the meaning of Jane Eyre into some idiotic airy-fairy pseudo-Freudian gobbledygook. Gobbledygook which all the theatre critics think is just soooo kewl - because theatre critics can't be bothered to do some actual research, much less have an interest in the role that economics play in the oppression of women.

St. John Rivers - religious zealot or not?

A reviewer said of my adaptation of "Jane Eyre":

As Rivers, Nat Cassidy is much harsher and religious law-abiding that his character is in the novel

So how harsh is St. John in the book?

Well, first off, an incredibly beautiful, wealthy young woman adores him. Here is what he has to say about that:

"While something in me," he went on, "is acutely sensible to her charms, something else is as deeply impressed with her defects: they are such that she could sympathise in nothing I aspired to—co-operate in nothing I undertook. Rosamond a sufferer, a labourer, a female apostle? Rosamond a missionary’s wife? No!"

"But you need not be a missionary. You might relinquish that scheme."

"Relinquish! What! my vocation? My great work? My foundation laid on earth for a mansion in heaven? My hopes of being numbered in the band who have merged all ambitions in the glorious one of bettering their race—of carrying knowledge into the realms of ignorance—of substituting peace for war—freedom for bondage—religion for superstition—the hope of heaven for the fear of hell? Must I relinquish that? It is dearer than the blood in my veins. It is what I have to look forward to, and to live for."

Oh yeah, not TOO zealoty.

And there's plenty more. Here we see him disgruntled because he thinks Jane is putting too much effort into cleaning for the Christmas holidays:

"To the end of turning to profit the talents which God has committed to your keeping; and of which He will surely one day demand a strict account. Jane, I shall watch you closely and anxiously—I warn you of that. And try to restrain the disproportionate fervour with which you throw yourself into commonplace home pleasures. Don’t cling so tenaciously to ties of the flesh; save your constancy and ardour for an adequate cause; forbear to waste them on trite transient objects. Do you hear, Jane?”

Here's how St. John proposes marriage to Jane:

"Yes," said he, "there is my glory and joy. I am the servant of an infallible Master. I am not going out under human guidance, subject to the defective laws and erring control of my feeble fellow-worms: my king, my lawgiver, my captain, is the All-perfect. It seems strange to me that all round me do not burn to enlist under the same banner,—to join in the same enterprise."

“All have not your powers, and it would be folly for the feeble to wish to march with the strong.”

“I do not speak to the feeble, or think of them: I address only such as are worthy of the work, and competent to accomplish it.”

“Those are few in number, and difficult to discover.”

“You say truly; but when found, it is right to stir them up—to urge and exhort them to the effort—to show them what their gifts are, and why they were given—to speak Heaven’s message in their ear,—to offer them, direct from God, a place in the ranks of His chosen.”

“If they are really qualified for the task, will not their own hearts be the first to inform them of it?”

I felt as if an awful charm was framing round and gathering over me: I trembled to hear some fatal word spoken which would at once declare and rivet the spell.

“And what does your heart say?” demanded St. John.

“My heart is mute,—my heart is mute,” I answered, struck and thrilled.

"Then I must speak for it," continued the deep, relentless voice. "Jane, come with me to India: come as my helpmeet and fellow-labourer."

The glen and sky spun round: the hills heaved! It was as if I had heard a summons from Heaven—as if a visionary messenger, like him of Macedonia, had enounced, “Come over and help us!” But I was no apostle,—I could not behold the herald,—I could not receive his call.

"Oh, St. John!" I cried, "have some mercy!"

I appealed to one who, in the discharge of what he believed his duty, knew neither mercy nor remorse. He continued—

"God and nature intended you for a missionary’s wife. It is not personal, but mental endowments they have given you: you are formed for labour, not for love. A missionary’s wife you must—shall be. You shall be mine: I claim you—not for my pleasure, but for my Sovereign’s service."

In other words, St. John plans to consummate the marriage while thinking of The Lord.

Clearly St. John is a total fanatic.

Which is why I presented him as one in my adaptation of Jane Eyre.

Here we see St. John making Jane pray with him. At this point in the play, through the power of his personal charisma and fanatacism - because remember, Jane herself is devout, if not fanatical - he almost succeeds in getting Jane to marry him and go off to missionarize the heathens in India. This is right before Jane hears the disembodied voice of Rochester calling her name.

My mother saw the show in February. She wanted Jane to marry St. John. She's a devout Catholic, although I suspect her preference was due at least in part to thinking Nat is a hottie.

In an interview for my recent adaptation, Nat explains how St. John misunderstands Jane - he correctly refers to St. John as a "religious zealot."


Watch the video clip

And the birds aren't singing

And the Birds Aren't Singing - another great song from Heavenly.

Boy in the rain (boy in the rain)
Finally decides (finally decides)
Too long has he been unkind

Boy in a daze (boy in a daze)
Finds that she's gone (finds that she's gone)
How could he have been so wrong?

Now she's gone, he sighs
Understanding in his eyes
Like the end of a dream
He won't believe

Girl in the rain (girl in the rain)
Feeling unsure (feeling unsure)
In this is what she'd hoped for

Girl in a daze (girl in a daze)
Finds that it's she (finds that it's she)
Who's feeling so bad, not he

Now he's gone, she sighs
Understanding in her eyes
Like the end of a dream
She won't believe

And the birds aren't singing anymore
And the birds aren't singing anymore
And the birds aren't singing anymore
And the birds aren't singing anymore, anymore

and another thing part 2

so as I was saying... as usual, off-off Broadway theatre critics get it wrong. In a review of my JANE EYRE the critic said: "The 23 characters from the novel are reduced to 16"

OK, where did she come up with 23 characters in the novel? I mean, I understand that off-off Broadway reviewers are probably not getting paid, and have day jobs and don't have time to do their homework. But why make stuff up??? I mean, what are the odds that a 400-page nineteenth century novel is only going to have 23 characters? I did a quick review of the book, and not counting the eighty orphans at Lowood school and various teachers, servants and other characters that don't get speaking roles, there were 23 characters by chapter 17. That's before Blanche Ingram and her various friends and relatives show up for an extended house party chez Rochester.

But back to her comment about St. John: "As Rivers, Nat Cassidy is much harsher and religious law-abiding that his character is in the novel"

I will address that soon.

And another thing!

I just posted a page on the JANE EYRE web site for reviews and audience raves. And I was reminded of yet another point of fact that the reviewers got wrong in comparing my play to the original novel.

A reviewer says: "Unlike the novel, the production spends a great deal of time on Jane's experience with St. John Rivers, her cousin and potential mate. As Rivers, Nat Cassidy is much harsher and religious law-abiding than his character is in the novel..."

I question whether, like Amy Freeman, this critic has retained any of the original novel in her memory, or if she believes that other adaptations, like the Teale version, are a good guide to the original novel. I spend 4 scenes with St. John Rivers. There are a total of 27 scenes in my play. The original novel spends 7 chapters at Morton, out of 38 chapters. That is not a great deal more time. That's only a little bit more time proportionate to the entire work.

More on this soon...

Weeds Season 3!

I looove Weeds! It's the greatest TV series ever and not just because it reunites Mary Louise Parker and Justin Kirk, first seen together in HBO's Angels in America

I don't have Showtime so I always download the series from iTunes - but they don't make it available until the end of the current season. FINALLY I have season 3!

The end of season 2 was intense!

Watch Andy Botwin (Kirk) explain the Iraq war

Nancy and Conrad

Let your freak flag fly

Your johnson


Watch a clip from Angels in America with Mary Louise and Justin.

Drawing Day

Damn, I missed Drawing Day which was June 6 - and just when I've recently gotten back into drawing, my first love before I met Chris The Most Beautiful Man in the World and got sucked into theatre. The drawing on the left is my marker sketch of my former coworker, the late Earl Rich, the other Most Beautiful Man in the World. Chris looked a bit like the young Harrison Ford, while Earl looked like a young Warren Beatty. Yes, they were that beautiful. I regret that I never got to sketch Chris from life, although I did erotic drawings from imagination.

I've lately been getting my visual art mojo on at the Spring Studio in SoHo. It's nice to get away from all the interpersonal drama of the theatre world and just sit quietly and draw - it's like meditation and really clears the head.

interesting costume site

I blogged previously about my men-in-period-costume paraphilia, and recently found this Gentlemen's Emporium. It's unique in that the web site owners seem to feel that each costume needed some kind of narrative to go with it.

For example:

Randolph Pickwick, Financier

As the heir to his father's vast financial empire, Mr. Pickwick is a much sought after bachelor. While his days are spent toiling over accounting journals and investment contracts, his evenings and weekends are consistently filled with balls, cotillions and luncheons.

He can usually be found at the local socials surrounded by his friends and a bevy of marriage-minded mademoiselles.

They ALL have little stories like that. I think someone at the Emporium's a frustrated playwright.

These costumes are Victorian and Edwardian, which are not quite as hot as Regency or Elizabethan costumes, but they're still pretty hot.

But this site does remind me that men's Old West clothing is pretty sexy - there's a Western Emporium too. There's something about those gunbelts. I wish gunbelts would come back in vogue - a gunbelt slung at a rakish angle across the hips, over a tight pair of jeans is a wondrous vision to behold. Although I wouldn't want to bring back guys walking around carrying guns. Just the belts please.

Here's "Zeke Jacobsen"
As a mere youth, Zeke Jacobsen served in the noted company of Texas Rangers led by Captain McCullough. Zeke distinguished himself in scouting and raiding parties and fought bravely at Matamoros.

Though adept at tracking outlaws, his disdain for desk work is legendary. While, this limited his rise through the ranks, he is perfectly content saying that a Ranger encampment is his only true home.

I should point out that not all period costume is hot. The Bavarian look just doesn't do it for me.

Outdoor Shakespeare

I've been doing my homework in preparation for my upcoming HUCK FINN in Central Park. On Sunday I checked out NYCPlaywrights members Pat Angelin and Alan Gary in Ten Grand's production called Bardolatry, which presents a selection of excerpts from Shakespeare's works.

As a result I've vowed to make our production location a no-fly zone. There was a helicopter that hovered over the Bardolatry show the entire time, making a horrible noise. The excerpt I've posted is the best of the bunch - at least the actors are audible.



Last year I saw an outdoor performance of Midsummer Night's Dream - the best Shakespeare play to do outdoors - by a group called The Pantaloons. They did a very good job, using umbrellas and live music to set the scenes. And since it was set in the middle of the Royal Botanical Gardens in Edinburgh, it was blessedly free of helicopters.

You can watch excerpts of the performances here.

When your heart's on fire, you must realize, smoke gets in your eyes

I only recently discovered the coolness of the song "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes"

There are lots of different versions on youtube. My favorite of the bunch is Eartha Kitt's version.

I kinda like Bryan Ferry's version too.

and the Platters.

You know who could have done a GREAT cover, with a whole added layer of dark meaning? Kurt Cobain. Damn him for not covering it.

They asked me how I knew my true love was true,
I of course replied, something here inside cannot be denied.

They said someday you'll find all who love are blind,
When your heart's on fire, you must realize,
Smoke gets in your eyes.

So I chaffed and then I gaily laughed,
To think that they could doubt my love,
Yet today, my love has flown away,
I am without my love.

Now laughing friends deride tears I cannot hide,
So I smile and say when a lovely flame dies,
Smoke gets in your eyes.

oh Marko, you crazy Aryan - get a LIFE!

I canNOT believe that Marko the Aryan wrote to me AGAIN! Like I'm really going to talk to him after he called me "eeie and screwy"! That eeie really hurt.

trying you again Marko 9xx 2xx 1xxx call say hi

I didn't think conservatives were bright but this goes beyond even my low estimation. Guess I'm going to have to block him. I thought only people who wrote vulnerable, regret-filled "I'm sorry our relationship died a horrible painful flaming death, yet even so, I wish you well, may you always create beauty, have a good life"-type messages got blocked. Live and learn.

The Reckoning of Kit & Little Boots

Renaissance-dude-about-town Nat Cassidy wrote and performs in his THE RECKONING OF KIT & LITTLE BOOTS at both the Gallery Players in Brooklyn and at Manhattan Theatre Source right now.

Like anything he does, Nat did not fuck around when it comes to Christopher Marlowe - and I'm sure if you dared to attempt to get into a Marlowe trivia contest with him, he would hand you your ass. Dude does his homework as I sadly discovered after he wrested the title of Queen of Beatles trivia from me soon after I met him.

He also is the only person I know who pays attention enough to know the place that Jane Eyre spends quality time with her cousins after discovering Rochester's naughtiness is called Morton. Hell if I ever remember that!

I read an early draft of KIT so I can't really say much about the play at this point, but I will have plenty to say (hi Nat!) after I see it June 19th.

So go see his show. In the meantime, check out this awesome photo of Nat:


I cannot lie, I love a man in period costume. Especially Regency or Elizabethan. There's not enough resources for costume fetishists out there! As Margaret Cho said, although about a different preference - "where's my parade?"

Oh wait - almost every parade!

Thanks guys!

I have my cast for the STRESS AND THE CITY reading - thanks you guys!

Wayne Henry
Ann Farthing
Nick Fondulis
Lori Kee
Mike Selkirk
Phoebe Summersquash
Reagan Wilson

This promises to be a fun reading with great acting.

One thing that's so neat about NYCPlaywrights is that it gives you a chance to really get to know actors' work. Although I met Nat through my JANE EYRE production. Which is even better: a weekly reading group lets you discover an actor's work, but doing a production with an actor lets you discover their true character. Well, sometimes it takes a couple of productions.

In any case, through trial & error I'm slowly building a core group of talented, dedicated, reliable, reasonable, non-sociopathic actors that I can count on for all future Mergatroyd Production shows.

They've made a movie about my trainer

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

I think it might be over between me and Marko the Aryan...

Marko,
I don't like conservatives. It says so in my profile. And calling yourself an "Aryan" makes you sound like a Nazi. You must realize that historical associations make the word offensive to many - possibly even some of your fellow conservatives who might otherwise be attracted to you.

I even gave him helpful advice!

This is the thanks I get:

nancy you are a misinformed fool who doesn't know the fundemental difference between nazis and ryans van you kindly get lost and go yu r silly and scared approach from day 1 way eeie and screwy but i guess thats you adios Marko

Yes, that's me, eeie and screwy.

The Albee story

I did a reading of my THE POOH STORY this Wednesday at NYCPlaywrights and it was well received, since people laughed alot - although I'm sure that it's partly because Bruce Barton as Lee, and Mike Selkirk as Chris, were so great in those roles.

But everybody, even Bruce, missed some references. I mean, this was a room full of actors and playwrights who you might expect would be pretty hip to allusions to THE GOAT and WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF.

I mean, come ON people:

LEE

So what? Winnie the Pooh and Piglet too – they don’t have a pension fund! You don’t hear THEM complaining do you? But you – you stand for everything I hate about America! You’re vacuous, you’re complacent, you are emasculated! Yes that’s right. Emasculated. You are not strong and virile and powerful like me. Like all the angry young men of the theatre. And Pooh!

(Lee takes a stuffed Winnie the Pooh out of the bookbag and waves it at Chris)

Me and Pooh are laughing at you! You are weak and womanly and you pretend that everything in this land of ours is peachy-keen. Pooh knows the only true virtue in life is honey! H – U – N – N – Y! Pooh and me know how to play with your mind maaaannn. We know how to kick start your brain and shake you out of the doldrums of your dull tiresome uptight squaresville thought patterns!

(Lee mimes having sex with Pooh.)

You’re shocked, aren’t you?

CHRIS

No. I saw someone doing that on youtube last week.

(Lee talks to Pooh)

LEE

But what about Piglet? What’s that you say? Piglet never existed? Piglet was just a fantasy we shared, out of our deep deep love for each other in the face of emasculated suburban ennui and alcoholism? Nooooo!

Hee hee! Sorry but I find my own play hysterically funny. This is a problem since I wrote it at the office in the middle of cubicle-land, and I didn't even attempt to explain the choking sound coming from my cube to anybody. Telling a bunch of financial analysts and programmers: "I think my own parody of Edward Albee's THE ZOO STORY is hysterically funny" is really no better than no explanation at all.

The audience at NYCPlaywrights got that my play was referencing THE ZOO STORY, but that was kind of a freebie.

I'm sure this is a total copyright violation, but somebody put the play script online, and until they make them take it down, you can read ZOO STORY here.

Albee is a sacred cow of the theatre and it was time for a parody of THE ZOO STORY. Unlike this person, I don't think that the play has stood the "test of time" - I think it reeks of 50-years-ago and not just because the normal guy thinks the other guy comes from Greenwich Village because he's a wacky character.

And then there is the "making people think" angle. This trope, that artists exist to make people think, is a source of unending irritation for me, mainly because it's plain wrong. Philosophers make us think. Artists are supposed to make us feel and make us experience beauty. Thinking will probably happen too, but that isn't the main goal.

Another thing that irritates me so much is that there are so many people in the arts who are just plain dumb. Who are they to presume I was walking around in a mindless daze until they came along?

I'm not a fan of Albee's plays, and I'm not too thrilled with Albee's boyfriend's art either. Which is the cue to begin my Albee story.

Some dude who was living at Albee's TriBeCa apartment wanted to do this idiotic web site back in 1999. Like so many people at that time, he thought he could get rich with a really dumb idea as long as the idea was executed via the Internet. He met me through my brief association with The Rattlestick Theatre in the Village. Eventually he learned that I did web development and my then-boyfriend was a whiz at database stuff. Which is true, just ask my ex-boyfriend. So he proposed his business idea to us - we would develop this web site for him, and in exchange he would give us stock options. In order to sweeten the deal, no doubt, the dude gave us a tour of Albee's apartment (while Albee was vacationing at Montauk).

Well, we were none too impressed I'm sorry to say. Although the elevator made a huge impression on me. Albee's place was on the 3rd floor and his elevator was just this big hole, with a platform that went up and down. In other words, if the elevator was on the ground floor, there was a square, 3-story drop from Albee's place to the street. I stayed as far away from that thing as possible. I read somewhere that since then he had like walls or something put in so it's no longer a complete deathtrap.

Then there was the big pile of stuff on the floor. Was Albee doing some redecorating? No, that was a piece of art. But Kate Hepburn made the same mistake when she was there for a party.

Then there was the wall of bookself that went up to the ceiling at the head of Albee's bed. My ever-practical ex asked "how does he get to the top shelf" since the bed would prevent you from putting a ladder there, and the ceiling was pretty high. I imagined that Albee would use the bed as a trampoline and jump up to reach the top shelf. I wanted to try it myself, if for no other reason than to say I jumped on Albee's bed, but those party poopers wouldn't let me.

But the most memorable aspect of the tour (except for the elevator from hell) was the boyfriends art. Apparently he was doing a series of these things, which consisted of a canvas, a bunch of men's tighty whities arranged just so on the canvas, pasted down and spray-painted black. Which really stood out against the all-white walls.

I'm actually 39!

According to the RealAge test, due to my health habits etc. I'm actually 39. My major failing is my social life. I could have told them that. But if I did have one, how old would I be then???

NYCPlaywrights Spring Reading videos

Watch them here - we had a great cast - Bruce Barton, Valerie David, Alan Gary, Lori Kee, Mike Selkirk and Reagan Wilson.

Mark Twain's old house - shutting down?

That would be awful, it's such a cool place. More here.

Damn my accursed principles!!!!

Really hot, 39-year-old hard-bodied guy contacts me through a dating site, wants to "hang out." I'm all happy. Then I read his profile. He's a conservative!!!! No way I'm getting it on with a conservative. Even with that six pack, those broad shoulders, those biceps.

*whimper whimper*

UPDATE: holy hopping Jesus on a pogostick that dumb mofo wrote back! Well, nobody ever said conservatives were bright!

whats wrong with aryan or conservative? call me lets talk Marko [his phone number]

Talk about what? Invading Poland???

The Way We Were

The Way We Were is pretty much unique in the world of movies. Two big equally strong stars together in a story that's romantic, a psychological study of two clashing personalities, and a serious look at the Red scare and McCarthy hearings of the 1950s.

It also has a character who seems to be based on Dalton Trumbo, which is pretty cool.

Robert Redford, whom I admire more the more I learn about him, apparently deserves much of the credit for the strength of the story. It was originally a vehicle for Streisand and as happens all too often with her films, the focus was far too much on her character. I've read that Redford was adamant about not doing the movie unless his character was more than just an object of desire.

The driving force of the movie is the Redford and Streisand characters trying to stay together in spite of their differences - she's intense, he's easy-going, he feels she pushes him too hard, as he explains in this scene.

He's also apolitical and so are his friends, which makes things difficult for Katie, Streisand's character. But his lack of strong political convictions makes it easier for him to analyze the situation dispassionately and pretty astutely too.

As so often happens when two very different personalities get together, the results are interesting - and if sexual, very hot.

Although really, any love scene with the young Robert Redford is, by definition, hot.

Stress and the City

More info here about the upcoming NYCPlaywrights reading...

Thank you for sharing, Mr. 19-year-old-horndawg

Hi you don't know me, but I just had to stop and say something. You are very beautiful! Gorgeously gorgeous... thats double the amount. You are so fireeeee hot you almost made my computer explode. Ha I know a little corny, but I just had to do it.

Andrew

Although I admit, I'm kinda tempted... he swears he's not spam and he has a mighty cute photo on his MySpace profile.

New upcoming productions

Now that I'm finally getting over the huge financial hit I took thanks to JANE EYRE 2008, not to mention the emotional toll of dealing creeps in the mix it's time to start thinking about future productions

HUCK FINN in Central Park

August 2008 - at the edge of the Sheep Meadow with half the cast from the world premiere (Twainathon 2007) reprising the roles they helped develop.
More about HUCK FINN here

STRESS IN THE CITY

Early Autumn 2008 - An evening of seven (maybe 8) short plays (by me) running the gamut from comedy to tragedy to the surreal to the all-too-real, all set in The City. Venue TBA.

EARLY ONE MORNING

Late Autumn 2008 - My full-length play about some college kids, an arranged marriage and jihad. Not to mention the enigmantic yet terrifying numbers stations. Venue TBA.

JANE EYRE

February 2009 - The return of everybody's favorite governess with a mostly new cast and a sadder but much wiser author/director/producer.

THE GOOD DEPUTY

Spring 2009 - George W. Bush may be gone by this time, but the damage his recklessness and hostility to the truth have done to this country will not be, and this play, set in the Old West, addresses those issues.

I'm also at work on a new play, working title: "The Happily Married Sociopath" - it's a murder mystery.

Stayed tuned for more developments.

More Sonnetary goodness!

I submitted my Sonnet 8 to the erotic poetry web site and they seem to like it as much as #1, 3, 5 & 7. The best part of this praise is that it comes from fellow poets.

You put magic in the Sonnet and in love; who could resist?

If only the poets on this site were theatre critics!

The rest of my Sonnets in G are not really erotic, but the web site does have a non-erotic category. But at this point I'm reluctant to post any more figuring they can't possibly love all of them like these five, and I'll feel kind of let down of they don't praise them as effusively. I know I shouldn't be that way, but I can't help it.

Alpha Girls & Sociopaths

I've been pondering the overlap between sociopaths and alpha girls. Based on the article here, alpha girls seem to have quite a bit in common with sociopaths. Trying to hurt other people as if it's some kind of game, without remorse or conscience is very much a sociopathic trait.

Al Gore and the Alpha Girls - The Enduring Power of Cliques in a Post-High-School World

****

Alpha Girls, Talbot wrote, armed with intelligence and cunning, devote considerable time and energy to waging complicated, intricate, and highly personalized battles with other girls of similar age, the intent of which is to damage the other girls’ friendships, relationships, and reputations, all in an effort to enhance and sustain their popularity and status.

The Alphas accomplish their goals through a wide variety of means, including spreading rumors -- some true or at least based on truth, others wildly false -- using the power of information and the means of its distribution to assault their prey. With an uncanny ability to identify and exploit their victims’ weaknesses, their opponents’ most vulnerable Achilles’ heels, the Alphas mercilessly exclude from membership -- or “merely” reduce the social standing of -- those who don’t make the cut...

...Alliances, many of them temporary and fleeting, are a critical element of the Alphas’ strategy. When it suits them, Alphas will befriend a girl with whom they would not ordinarily be associated with the sole intent -- not always apparent to the newly befriended girl -- of inflicting revenge and retribution on their latest victim. Although Alphas can be mean and cruel, they aren’t physical; catfights aren’t their thing. Rather than engaging in physical altercations, they rely on words, insults, rumor, gossip, innuendo, and manipulation. And the Alphas use others who are not members of the clique, including girls aspiring to this lofty status, and boys, naturally the most popular boys whenever possible, in their campaigns to ruin the reputations of others they find threatening or morally, intellectually, socially, or physically superior.

******

What I'm very curious to know is what percentage of these alpha girls are sociopaths. Apparently sociopaths are not uncommon at all - so much so that pretty much everybody knows one, but without knowing it - they usually blend in.

I've read that it may be possible to identify sociopaths in the future through brain wave analysis. That should be useful.

Ruben Bolling is a genius

His actual name is Ken Fisher but he has a Wikipedia entry under his nom de comix, Ruben Bolling.

His weekly comic, Tom the Dancing Bug is truly great. Especially my three favorite recurring bits, God-Man, Lucky Ducky, and Super-Fun-Pak Comix.

Super-Fun-Pak Comix

Each one incredible, although his 9-11 edition is his real masterpiece.

Regular


9-11


Lucky Ducky
The inspiration for the name



The Adventures of God-Man
It's hard to believe that any deist can read a single episode of God-Man and not become an atheist on the spot.



More Tom the Dancing Bug excellence at Salon

Greetings from Asbury Park NJ

Since Memorial Day is the unofficial start of summer, I was feeling early Springsteen. Before he became The Voice of Working-class America Springsteen was a hipster street poet. Then Dave Sancious left the E Street Band after The Wild, the Innocent and the E Street Shuffle and everything went downhill.

Although his greatest song is Kitty's Back, check out the lyrics from Does This Bus Stop At 82nd Street?

Hey bus driver, keep the change
Bless your children, give them names
Don't trust men who walk with canes
Drink this and you'll grow wings on your feet
Broadway Mary, Joan Fontaine
Advertiser on a downtown train
Christmas crier bustin' cane
He's in love again

Where dock worker's dreams mix with panther's schemes
To someday own the rodeo
Tainted women in VistaVision
Perform for out-of-state kids at the late show

Wizard imps and sweat sock pimps
Interstellar mongrel nymphs
Rex said that lady left him limp
Love's like that (sure it is)
Queen of diamonds, ace of spades
Newly discovered lovers of the Everglades
They take out a full-page ad in the trades
To announce their arrival
And Mary Lou, she found out how to cope
She rides to heaven on a gyroscope
The Daily News asks her for the dope
She said, "Man, the dope's that there's still hope"

Senorita, Spanish rose
Wipes her eyes and blows her nose
Uptown in Harlem she throws a rose
To some lucky young matador

more adventures in cyber-dating in a world full of assholes

Email I receive from a dorky looking guy I wouldn't have considered even when I was his age (28):

I'm going to be very forward and bold right now.....have you or would you consider a no strings attached encounter with a younger guy? If so maybe we could have a very exciting summer. It has always been a fantasy of mine. Let me know


no strings

My response:

I would... if I was attracted to him....

PS - if you want no-strings you're better off on Craig's list dude.

What Krugman said

You Obama Kool-aid drinking morons:

It is, in a way, almost appropriate that the final days of the struggle for the Democratic nomination have been marked by yet another fake Clinton scandal — the latest in a long line that goes all the way back to Whitewater.

This one, in case you missed it, involved an interview Hillary Clinton gave the editorial board of South Dakota’s Argus Leader, in which she tried to make a case for her continuing campaign by pointing out that nomination fights have often gone on into the summer. As one of her illustrations, she mentioned that Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June.

It wasn’t the best example to use, but it’s absurd to suggest, as some Obama supporters immediately did, that Mrs. Clinton was making some kind of dark hint about Barack Obama’s future.

But then, it was equally absurd to portray Mrs. Clinton’s assertion that it took L.B.J.’s political skills to turn Martin Luther King’s vision into legislation as an example of politicizing race. Yet the claim that Mrs. Clinton was playing the race card, which was promoted by some Obama supporters as well as in a memo by a member of Mr. Obama’s staff, achieved wide currency.

Why does all this matter? Not for the nomination: Mr. Obama will be the Democratic nominee. But he has a problem: many grass-roots Clinton supporters feel that she has received unfair, even grotesque treatment. And the lingering bitterness from the primary campaign could cost Mr. Obama the White House.

HRC should be offered the VP slot.

And let nobody underestimate the degree to which sexism played a part in the anti-Hillary sentiment INCLUDING from so-called liberals.

More righteous Krugman commentary

The continuing popularity of Janis Joplin

Janis Joplin died, at age 27, in 1970. That's thirty-eight years ago. But check this out - since I blogged about her a few times, I keep getting all these hits to my blog from people googling some variation on "janis joplin" and "nude"

What is it about Janis? She was hardly a great beauty, was in fact voted "Ugliest Man on Campus" by the assholes at the University of Texas. Why such a great desire to see nude photos of her - of which there seems to be only a few, and none explicit, as far as I can tell.

Hmm...

You learn sooo much about the interests of people by reading web statistics reports. Like the fact that so many hits on my site come from Saudi Arabia and Iran looking for "gay man" and "ladyboys."

oh so lame

I regret to report that the latest Indiana Jones movie is soooo lame!

Apparently no matter how much money you have, the one thing that is almost impossible to buy is a GOOD SCRIPT.

And the worst was the way they ruined the Marion character.

It's too awful to talk about. Argh!

I'll let the Village Voice do it:

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is as joyless as its predecessors were blissful: Its sole intention seems to be the launching of a new franchise with LaBeouf's Mutt as heir to his father's fedora. And no, it spoils nothing to give away that LaBeouf is the son of Indiana Jones and Karen Allen's Marion Ravenwood, who appears late in the film and serves little function other than to grin like a schoolgirl at the professor who got away.

The return of Marion Ravenwood

I had no intention of seeing the newest Indiana Jones movie. The second one was awful and the third one was just OK.

Actually, I had to be dragged to "Raiders of the Lost Ark" by an ex-boyfriend because I had no interest in seeing some movie that harkened back to the days of pulp fiction and action movie serials. But Harrison Ford was hot, so I was persuaded. And I found I liked the movie OK. Then suddenly - who was that amazing woman???

Indiana: Hello, Marion.

Marion: Indiana Jones. I always knew some day you'd come walking back through my door. I never doubted that. Something made it inevitable. So, what are you doing here in Nepal?

Indiana: I need one of the pieces your father collected.

[Marion surprises him with a right cross to the jaw]

Marion: I've learned to hate you in the last ten years.

Indiana: I never meant to hurt you.

Marion: I was a child. I was in love. It was wrong and you knew it.

Indiana: You knew what you were doing.

Marion: Now I do. This is my place. Get out.

Now THIS was an action hero I could love and identify with. She drank that big dude under the table - and made a bunch of money on the wager to boot. Then she helps Indiana Jones fight Nazis - making sure to get a swig of liquor during the fight. And then when Indy thinks she's dead, he looks so sexy sitting at the bar in mourning and then confronting the nasty French archeologist, in my favorite moment of the movie, when Indy is so upset he's on the verge of virtual suicide

Indiana: You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together, I've got nothing better to do.

One big disappointment though was the scene where Marion has a chance to use her superpowers of massive alcohol consumption to drink Belloq under the table and get away - and the movie doesn't let her. If she was a guy, she would have. I blame Spielberg for that.

But now she's back and I'm gonna go see the new Indiana Jones movie tomorrow night!

I'm not the only one who loves Marion Ravenwood...

Marion Ravenwood is a goddess

Return Of The Thinking Man's Leading Lady: Karen Allen

Karen Allen revisits feisty role in 4th ‘Indiana Jones’ film

Karen Allen is Back as Marion Ravenswood - fellow feminists also love Marion.

Like most once-successful women in Hollywood, Karen Allen found she was getting crappy roles once she hit 40. She started a textile business as well as teaching acting at Simon's Rock college (my ex-boyfriend's school) and doing occasional theatre and more occasional film.

More righteous playwright wrath

More on the most annoying review of my adaptation of Jane Eyre.

I've made it clear that the reviewer's understanding of my play is based entirely on other adaptations, not on the book. Which is why the last paragraph of her review is especially galling:

It is best for fans of Bronte's novel to stick to the book, as even the best of actors cannot replace the beauty that is to be found in there. McClernan makes a valiant effort in transplanting the sprawling work to the confines of the stage, but in the end, as our high school teachers always said, it's best just to read the book.

Hey Freeman - WHY DON'T YOU READ THE BOOK??????

Oh yes, and fuck your high school teachers - MY high school teachers never said any such thing.

But this isn't just a case of someone who demonstrably has NOT read the book giving such advice. This is an alleged THEATRE CRITIC saying in effect don't go to see theatre.

Because he's in a cult and he's not allowed to talk to me

The Pointless, Yet Poignant, Crisis of a Co-Ed is another early great funny song by Dar Williams.

The last lines are especially good:

And my ex-boyfriend can't tell me I've sold out,

because he's in a cult.

And he's not allowed to talk to me.

I will never understand people who simply stop communicating with others as if it's some kind of religious taboo. Especially when YOU are the one who has the right to be angry, AND they read your blog at least once a week.

But some people are just weird and fucked up in the head.

The Hemp Liberation League aspect of this song reminds me of my ex-husband. Although he's a Leo.

All the Dar lyrics:

I'm not a leader, I'm not a left-wing rhetoric mobilizing force of one,
But there was a time way back, many years ago in college, don't laugh,
But I thought I was a radical, I ran the Hemp Liberation League with my boyfriend,
It was true love, with a common cause, and besides that, he was a Sagittarius.

We used to say that our love was like hemp rope, three times as strong as the rope that you buy domestically,
And we would bond in the face of oppression from big business and the deans,
But I knew there was a problem, every time the group would meet everyone would light up,
That made it difficult to discuss glaucoma and human rights, not to mention chemotherapy.

Well sometimes, life gives us lessons sent in ridiculous packaging,
And so I found him in the arms of a Student Against the Treacherous use of Fur,
And he gave no apology, he just turned to me, stoned out to the edge of oblivion,
He didn't pull up the sheets and I think he even smiled as he said to me,
"Well, I guess our dreams went up in smoke."

And I said, No, our dreams went up in dreams, you stupid pothead,

And another thing, what kind of a name is Students Against the Treacherous Use of Fur?
Fur is already dead, and besides, a name like that doesn't make a good acronym.

I am older now, I know the rise and gradual fall of a daily victory.
And I still write to my senators, saying they should legalize cannabis,
And I should know, cause I am a horticulturist, I have a husband and two children out in Lexington, Mass.

And my ex-boyfriend can't tell me I've sold out,

because he's in a cult.

And he's not allowed to talk to me.

Thanks for the shout-out Ann Bartow

She linked to my Carmina Burana lyrics post (below.)

Wow, talk about karma or it's a small world after all.

When I first started my adaptation of Huckleberry Finn I came across the work of one Shelly Fisher Fishkin, with whom I disagreed emphatically. In fact, I even emailed her my objections, but never heard back from her:

Dear Shelley Fisher Fishkin,

On the “Mark Twain’s America” page of the PBS Online NewsHour

you say:

In the book's famous ending--variously maligned as a failure, a mistake, a retreat, or worse--what do we find? Incarcerated in a tiny shack with a ludicrous assortments of snakes, rats and spiders put there by an authority figure who claims to have his best interests at heart, Jim is denied information that he needs and is forced to perform a series of pointless and exhausting tasks. After risking his life to get the freedom that unbeknownst to him is already his, after proving himself to be a paragon of moral virtue who towers over everyone around him, this legally-free black man is still denied respect--and is still in chains. All of this happens not at the hands of charlatans, the duke and the king, but at the initiative of a respectable Tom Sawyer and churchgoing citizens like the Phelpses and their neighbors.

Is what America did to the ex-slaves any less insane than what Tom Sawyer put Jim through in the novel? Where do we go for a window on the "contrast between our ideals and activities," that was "inescapable" after "the war to 'free the slaves,'" as Ralph Ellison put it in our 1991 interview? "People didn't want to talk directly about it," Ellison observed. But Twain did take it on: "One of the functions of comedy," Ellison said, "is to allow us to deal with the unspeakable. And this Twain did consistently." What is the history of post-Emancipation race relations in the United States if not a series of maneuvers as cruelly gratuitous as the indignities inflicted on Jim in the final section of Huckleberry Finn? Why was the Civil Rights movement necessary? Why were black Americans forced to go through so much pain and trouble just to secure rights that were supposedly theirs already? Huckleberry Finn may end in farce--but it is not Twain's farce: it is ours. Twain's book is not escapist. It is an escape from the denial of the farce we've made of what was--and still is--a noble social and political experiment.



I’ve recently finished a play based on the novel; finished recording the entire novel of Huckleberry Finn for an audio book, read up on Clemens’s career as a performer; and read “Tom Sawyer, Detective” and “Tom Sawyer Abroad” and I think your assessment is wrong.

We all love Mark Twain and want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it’s clear to me that he truly loved the evasion section of Huckleberry Finn because he loves Tom Sawyer.

And that’s why the Tom Sawyer character always dominates – Huck and Jim both immediately become supporting players whenever Tom appears, in spite of the fact that it’s Huck narrating. Before Tom Sawyer appears for the evasion, Jim is goal-oriented – he not only wants to get out of slavery himself, he wants to get his wife and children out of slavery. Once Tom Sawyer shows up, that goal is never mentioned again. So much so that by the end of the novel, all three of them, Huck, Tom and Jim, are considering lighting out for the Territory. By the end of the novel, Jim’s journey is far from over. His sudden freedom doesn’t solve the problem of buying or if necessary, stealing his own family. But that is totally subverted for the Tom Sawyer story.

Tom Sawyer Abroad takes up right after Huckleberry Finn left off, and in it Jim is content to travel around Africa and the Middle East with two white boys, and not a peep about his family.

Furthermore, Clemens liked to read from the evasion section of the book in his live performances.

And it is funny and entertaining, but it’s completely different, in tone and substance, from the pre-evasion section of the novel.

Twain was no fool when it came to marketing his work. When Huckleberry Finn was published, there were still people all over the South who either had once owned slaves themselves, or had parents and other relatives who owned slaves. He knew he could only go so far in portraying the actual brutalities of slave owners and still have a popular book. Uncle Silas and Aunt Sally are presented as loveable and even silly and certainly non-threatening. The worst that Uncle Silas does to his slaves is force religion on them – a solid virtue in 1880s American opinion, even more so than today. And that’s why Twain used the evasion scene to promote the book. He wanted to make sure everybody knew the book was all in good fun, in spite of some serious bits.

It’s clear that no matter how disgusting we today might consider Tom Sawyer’s behavior in regards to Jim, Twain considered Tom a lovable scamp and wanted everybody else to feel that way. And he can only maintain that attitude if he sacrifices Jim’s feelings of urgency about rescuing his family. Portraying Jim as a “paragon of moral virtue” certainly does not make up for that sacrifice. If anything, that portrayal turns Jim into some cardboard cutout of the impossibly noble good darkie.

This does not lessen the very important achievement of the first two-thirds of the book. But really, Twain should have ended the book shortly after Huck vows to go to hell, and created another short novel, “Tom Sawyer on the Farm” out of the evasion, to go along with Abroad and Detective.

Your take on the last one-third of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn may be what fans of Twain want to hear, but I don’t think it’s justified by the text or Twain’s actions.

Nancy McClernan
Hoboken, NJ

Well first weird coincidence - I was working at the time with playwright David Ives. The Dramatists Guild had asked me to do an article about my court case vs. Edward Einhorn. Ives was my contact at the Guild. Turns out he was working on adapting a new play written by Mark Twain, recently unearthed by... Shelly Fisher Fishkin.

So just now, when checking out the link from Sivacracy to my site, I see that Siva, Ann Bartow's co-blogger, urges everybody to see the new Twain play IS HE DEAD because it was unearthed by his mentor... Shelly Fisher Fishkin!

Just weird.

Jane Eyre fan fiction

Read Jane Eyre FanFiction... some intriguing what-if scenarios - what if Jane's Uncle Reed hadn't died and Jane was raised as a lady? What if Aunt Reed never told Jane about her uncle in Madeira? What if Jane did not make a fuss when she thinks Rochester wants to send her away?

Nobody's tackled this subject yet, but I bet this would wow them at the erotic literature web site - Eddie Rochester's European Bachelor Vacation. Hmmm.... maybe I'll have to write that one...

Some people like my sonnets!

I posted four of my Sonnets in G - #1, 3, 5 & 7 - on an erotic poetry forum. Yes, there is such a thing. And wow, the reception has been quite flattering and enthusiastic. Maybe I can be a poet after all. And really, I did make love to that employment, so to speak. Besides, what other possible occupation could I find that has even LESS earning potential than playwright? I always excel in anything which has no earning potential attached. I'm also a good portraitist in an age when electronic images are cheap and easy.

But onto the embarrassingly effusive praise!

For Sonnet 1: Who could stand against such heart wrenching image: "But still the white-foam-spraying dreams remain,/
Sweating a sad tormented yearning girl" and not at least extend a word of encouragement to the expelled beauty on the shores of this poetry section? A true Sonnet of a heart broken love (if only all of them were sung so beautifully...)

For Sonnet 3: I hear echoes from dialogues on love from Exupéry's "the little Prince", there is humor not to mention some erotic lines. Throw in some chilling Inca imagary and Psycho dynamic jargon - all in one Sonnet which holds it all gracefully; I mean, come on!

(I am really impressed that that person got the Inca imagery from the lines: "When your scarlet still-beating heart is twain / And yanked out bloody from your twitching shell.")

For Sonnet 5: "Does slay me, violates my volition": Yea Yea, Been there burned there...Great two ending lines to another smart very good poem.

For Sonnet 7: What a gusto of talent! What can I say? I am very gratefull that you put this perfect poem for us to read.

Well, what can I say but...

IN YO FACE Dickinson!

Jane Eyre vs. sexism

Although I disagree with those who wish to put a feminist spin on adaptations of "Jane Eyre" by turning Bertha Mason into a victim of imperialism and sexual oppression, I am certainly not pro-imperialism nor pro-sexual oppression.

My point to adaptors and reviewers of "Jane Eyre" is that there is enough feminist sentiment in the novel, as written, that it does not need any modern sub-text. The primary feminist position in the novel is quite radical, even up to the present day: women are creatures with sexual desires, rather than than objects of desire only.

The driving force of "Jane Eyre" is Jane's erotic desire for Rochester, which is why it was so controversial when it was published. To even hint that a female might have her own sexual desires, rather than be a passive, sentimental object waiting to be married off so she can start procreating, went against everything that 18th & 19th century English society believed was proper for a woman.

Jane expresses Bronte's disgust with the socio-economic system of the day in the famous "poor, obscure" speech:

Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! - I have as much soul as you,—and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh;—it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God’s feet, equal,—as we are!

To Jane - and Bronte - the fact that Rochester and Jane are intellectual equals should overcome their socio-economic inequality.

Although Jane says that Rochester is not handsome, it is clear that he has no trouble attracting women, from Blanche to his many European mistresses. If he was truly repulsive and women did not feel attraction for him, he wouldn't be much of an object of desire for Jane either. And of course Rochester's many flings does not make him any less of a respectable gentleman - a clear marker of the traditional sexual double standard. We joked about Rochester's horndawg ways during the first production.

But while Rochester is not handsome, he is very masculine. Jane often alludes to his power and virility:

I traced the general points of middle height and considerable breadth of chest. He had a dark face, with stern features and a heavy brow.

His shape, now divested of cloak, I perceived harmonised in squareness with his physiognomy: I suppose it was a good figure in the athletic sense of the term—broad chested and thin flanked, though neither tall nor graceful.

With this announcement he rose from his chair, and stood, leaning his arm on the marble mantelpiece: in that attitude his shape was seen plainly as well as his face; his unusual breadth of chest, disproportionate almost to his length of limb. I am sure most people would have thought him an ugly man; yet there was so much unconscious pride in his port; so much ease in his demeanour; such a look of complete indifference to his own external appearance; so haughty a reliance on the power of other qualities, intrinsic or adventitious, to atone for the lack of mere personal attractiveness, that, in looking at him, one inevitably shared the indifference, and, even in a blind, imperfect sense, put faith in the confidence.

He had a rounded, muscular, and vigorous hand, as well as a long, strong arm.

The first actor to play Rochester in my adaptation is not physically very similar to Rochester, but a theatre acquaintance who saw the show remarked how masculine he was in the role, which I consider confirmation that I made the right casting choice.

But the quality that makes Rochester most attractive to Jane is that he is actually interested in her intellectual and artistic accomplishments. While conversing with Jane, Rochester compliments her intelligence:

“Humbug! Most things free-born will submit to anything for a salary; therefore, keep to yourself, and don’t venture on generalities of which you are intensely ignorant. However, I mentally shake hands with you for your answer, despite its inaccuracy; and as much for the manner in which it was said, as for the substance of the speech; the manner was frank and sincere; one does not often see such a manner: no, on the contrary, affectation, or coldness, or stupid, coarse-minded misapprehension of one’s meaning are the usual rewards of candour. Not three in three thousand raw school-girl-governesses would have answered me as you have just done. But I don’t mean to flatter you: if you are cast in a different mould to the majority, it is no merit of yours: Nature did it. And then, after all, I go too fast in my conclusions: for what I yet know, you may be no better than the rest; you may have intolerable defects to counterbalance your few good points.”

And he admires her paintings:

Not quite: you have secured the shadow of your thought; but no more, probably. You had not enough of the artist’s skill and science to give it full being: yet the drawings are, for a school-girl, peculiar. As to the thoughts, they are elfish. These eyes in the Evening Star you must have seen in a dream. How could you make them look so clear, and yet not at all brilliant? for the planet above quells their rays. And what meaning is that in their solemn depth? And who taught you to paint wind? There is a high gale in that sky, and on this hill-top. Where did you see Latmos? For that is Latmos. There! put the drawings away!"

I emphasized this aspect of Rochester in my adaptation:

ROCHESTER
When did you paint these?

JANE
My last vacation, at Lowood.

ROCHESTER
Watercolor is a notoriously difficult medium. Were you happy when you painted them?

JANE
Yes sir, I was. To paint them was the keenest pleasure I have known.

ROCHESTER
That’s not saying much - I gather you have had few pleasures thus far in your life. These painting are peculiar. The thoughts are otherworldly.

(He looks at them, absorbed. Then he remembers himself and becomes business-like again.)

Well, Miss Eyre, I find you have satisfactory attributes to educate my ward. Now go do your job.

JANE
Yes, sir.

(She curtsies and attempts to take the portfolio. )

ROCHESTER
Lend me your portfolio a bit longer, will you? I find these pieces strangely compelling.

JANE
Certainly, sir.

(Jane exits and Rochester continues to examine the portfolio. End of scene.)

How rare a trait this must have been in a man of the 19th century - Rochester is almost a fantasy figure - a man who is able to look beyond physical appearance in a woman. I'm sure that was a big reason why Charlotte Bronte was so in love with her teacher Constantin Heger - he seems to have taken a genuine interest in her intellectual development.

And I completely empathize with Bronte. Such men are rare even in the 21st century, so much so that if any sufficiently attractive man expresses an interest in my intellectual/artistic accomplishments I will pretty much become his slave for life.

So "Jane Eyre" is still relevant without any extra modern meaning added. Although of course adaptors will emphasize certain elements over others - as I did by emphasizing Rochester's admiration for Jane's paintings - it is simply wrong to change the meaning of the work entirely for ones own agenda.

more on the JE review

Back to that Freeman review... she thinks that I somehow de-sympathized the character of Antoinette/Bertha...

Is she really insane or is her insanity a result of being used as a pawn and her resulting loveless marriage? The production does not portray Antoinette sympathetically. She draws blood after biting her brother's neck, sets fire to Rochester's bed curtains, and tears Jane's wedding veil. The portrayal of Antoinette, a character who should be pitied, seems at odds with the portrayal of Jane, another strong woman, who has been allowed her independence, and therefore will avoid the fate of Antoinette.

(I changed the name from Bertha to Antoinette - as is also done in "Wide Sargasso Sea" because the name Bertha seems so clunky for such an exotic character.)

In the book it is explained that Antoinette/Bertha is insane because it runs in her family. Her mother is insane too. And so I present her as insane due to a congenital medical condition - not because her loveless marriage made her insane.

This is another of those "English-department notions" as Michael Feingold calls it - that medical insanity never just happens, people are driven insane due to tragedy or loveless marriages or other common life events. In fact, it seems like ever since Ophelia, women regularly go insane in response to tragedy. If it happened as frequently in real life as it did in literature, half the women in the world would be barking mad.

But of course Antoinette/Bertha should be pitied - anybody who is insane should be, and in the book and my play Jane later tells Rochester he shouldn't hate her for being insane. Antoinette is so insane she doesn't understand why she has to stay with Rochester, and can't go back to Jamaica where she was running around with lots of men, as she did during the early days of her marriage to Rochester before she went completely crazy. She must be confined for her own good and the good of everybody around her, but she doesn't understand this. So she's frustrated, and everybody around her is frustrated.

Here is the first appearance of Antoinette/Bertha in my play:

ANTOINETTE MASON-ROCHESTER enters. She is dressed in a lovely but disheveled gown and carries a fan.)

RICHARD MASON
Antoinette. It is I, Richard, come to see you.

ANTOINETTE
I curse you both! You took me away from my beautiful lovers!

(Antoinette hits Mason with her fan and tries to bites his hand. Rochester tries to free Mason and she hits Rochester, then exits.)

We ended up staging it with Antoinette biting Mason's neck, and with Rochester wrestling her back behind a curtain, but at least she gets to talk. She later appears in a scene which I invented in order to give Antoinette one more chance to tell her side of the story:

(There is a scream and then Antoinette's laugh. Mrs. Fairfax exits, heading upstairs. The laughter is heard again. Rochester covers his ears against the sound.)

ROCHESTER
I should have sent her to Bedlam and let her rot there! You foul demon, you
will be the death of me! Jane! Don't think you have escaped me Jane!

(Mrs. Fairfax enters.)

MRS. FAIRFAX
She murdered Grace Poole! The whole room is on fire!

(Antoinette enters, her hands bloody and carrying a lit torch in one hand and Jane's discarded wedding veil in the other. She screams at Mrs. Fairfax.)

ANTOINETTE
You are trying to steal my husband!

MRS. FAIRFAX
I am doing nothing of the sort!

ROCHESTER
Give me the torch, Antoinette.

ANTOINETTE
You made my life a hell. And so let us have an inferno!
(She attempts to torch the room.)

ROCHESTER
(to Mrs. Fairfax)
Make yourself useful, go fetch some help!

(Mrs. Fairfax exits. Rochester addresses Antoinette again.)
Give me the torch!

ANTOINETTE
Send me back to my home! My lovers are waiting for me! All my beautiful
lovers, not like you, you ugly English troll!

(She laughs. Rochester tries to grab the torch and she exits, he follows. Blackout.)

The production I saw of Polly Teale's adaptation presented Antoinette/Bertha supremely sympathetically. In the scene where Rochester presents her to everyone, she gently rests her head on his shoulder. Which may satisfy Teale's requirement that Antoinette/Bertha be Jane's alter-ego, but it has NOTHING to do with the book, and it makes Rochester look like a bad bad man - first driving this poor woman insane with his English imperialism and sexual repression, and then locking her into a room (which Teale equates with the Red Room of Jane's childhood trauma) when all she wants is to be loved and to express her sexuality. This throws the entire meaning of "Jane Eyre" out of whack. But theatre critics don't care.

Here is how Bertha is described in the novel:

In the deep shade, at the farther end of the room, a figure ran backwards and forwards. What it was, whether beast or human being, one could not, at first sight, tell: it grovelled, seemingly, on all fours; it snatched and growled like some strange wild animal: but it was covered with clothing, and a quantity of dark, grizzled hair, wild as a mane, hid its head and face.

"Good-morrow, Mrs. Poole!" said Mr. Rochester. "How are you? and how is your charge to-day?"

"We're tolerable, sir, I thank you," replied Grace, lifting the boiling mess carefully on to the hob: "rather snappish, but not 'rageous."

A fierce cry seemed to give the lie to her favourable report: the clothed hyena rose up, and stood tall on its hind-feet.

"Ah! sir, she sees you!" exclaimed Grace: "you'd better not stay."

"Only a few moments, Grace: you must allow me a few moments."

"Take care then, sir! - for God's sake, take care!"

The maniac bellowed: she parted her shaggy locks from her visage, and gazed wildly at her visitors. I recognised well that purple face, - those bloated features. Mrs. Poole advanced.

"Keep out of the way," said Mr. Rochester, thrusting her aside: "she has no knife now, I suppose, and I'm on my guard."

"One never knows what she has, sir: she is so cunning: it is not in mortal discretion to fathom her craft."

"We had better leave her," whispered Mason.

"Go to the devil!" was his brother-in-law's recommendation.

"'Ware!" cried Grace. The three gentlemen retreated simultaneously. Mr. Rochester flung me behind him: the lunatic sprang and grappled his throat viciously, and laid her teeth to his cheek: they struggled. She was a big woman, in stature almost equalling her husband, and corpulent besides: she showed virile force in the contest - more than once she almost throttled him, athletic as he was. He could have settled her with a well-planted blow; but he would not strike: he would only wrestle. At last he mastered her arms; Grace Poole gave him a cord, and he pinioned them behind her: with more rope, which was at hand, he bound her to a chair. The operation was performed amidst the fiercest yells and the most convulsive plunges.

Earlier in the book when Mason secretly visits Bertha, she attacks him:

"She bit me," he murmured. "She worried me like a tigress, when Rochester got the knife from her."

"You should not have yielded: you should have grappled with her at once," said Mr. Rochester.

"But under such circumstances, what could one do?" returned Mason. "Oh, it was frightful!" he added, shuddering. "And I did not expect it: she looked so quiet at first."

"I warned you," was his friend's answer; "I said - be on your guard when you go near her. Besides, you might have waited till to-morrow, and had me with you: it was mere folly to attempt the interview to-night, and alone."

"I thought I could have done some good."

"You thought! you thought! Yes, it makes me impatient to hear you: but, however, you have suffered, and are likely to suffer enough for not taking my advice; so I'll say no more. Carter - hurry! - hurry! The sun will soon rise, and I must have him off."

"Directly, sir; the shoulder is just bandaged. I must look to this other wound in the arm: she has had her teeth here too, I think."

"She sucked the blood: she said she'd drain my heart," said Mason.

It's clear to ANYBODY WHO HAS READ THE BOOK that my portrayal of Bertha is far more sympathetic than the original. The book describes her as an animal or even a vampire. My version at least gives her a chance to express her confusion and frustration with some human dignity.

Which brings me to the last and greatest reason why this review is a travesty....

which I will address soon...