Anyway, we now just act like that’s the normal state of things; women have lower sex drive than men cuz testosterone! But, frankly, I’m surprised women have sex drives as high as we do given how little of our culture is devoted to appealing to feminine desire. We’re fed lines like “looks don’t matter to women” to which I would respond HA HA HA HA HA. Yeah, looks don’t matter if women aren’t expecting to get any sexual pleasure out of the relationship. Which many aren’t. If you want to attract women for something other than your wallet, however, put some effort into your physical appearance. The average straight guy sets the bar so low on this one, frankly, you probably don’t need to do too much to be pretty good looking. And, even if you don’t end up looking good, looking like you care is probably good enough. It signals that you value a woman’s physical attraction to you.
Of course men like to believe that women don't care about appearances because then they can be lazy slobs. I don't know how many times a man has said to me that he wears his hair the way he does because it's just the easiest way.
And of course idiot evolutionary psychology proponents keep pushing the idea that women don't care what men look like, even while they point to animal behavior as something that reveals the secrets of human behavior. Jerry Coyne, who likes to attack feminists and Muslims when he isn't pushing bullshit just-so stories, and a pal of that other feminist hating idiot Steven Pinker:
...the conditions for sexual selection hold—a greater variance in male than in female reproductive output—probably explaining why men are bigger and stronger than women, and have beards and other secondary sexual differences. It also explains why male peacocks have showy tails, why male sage grouse do “jumping displays” to attract females...
Funny how male peacocks have showy tails but in many human cultures women are expected to be more showy than men, including our own. Coyne tries to cover that by suggesting that beards are an example of something that has been sexually selected for, but unfortunately for him, women find men without full beards more attractive.
At least he doesn't try to suggest in this post that baldness is sexually selected for - some other evo-psychos have suggested that very thing. But that's how mindless, how reflexive the evo-psychos are about human culture. While they constantly accuse critics of evolutionary psychology of denying biology - or just science in general - they constantly deny the role that culture has on human behavior.
And human culture is huge. Money does not exist in nature. But in human culture, for millennia, men had all the money. They bought women from their parents to get wives. Eventually, in the twentieth century, women had more opportunity to select the man for themselves, but the principle was still the same - the man had all the money and the women was his "housewife" and traded sex in exchange for room and board.
The last forty years have changed that - the idea of women earning their own money and being able to use it as freely as men goes against all of human cultural history - and culture-deniers like Pinker and the other evo-psycho freaks eternally refuse to acknowledge that much of what they insist is biologically-endowed behavior is in fact culturally-endowed behavior. And men not needing to care about their appearance is part of the old tradition of men having all the money and using that to buy female beauty.
Men are still in denial about how the world has changed thanks to women having their own incomes. Because where women had to look nice in order to be eligible to be bought by a man, now we have the luxury of choosing men for their appearance too. But looking good does take work, and men think they don't have to work at it. They think they can just keep dressing like truck-drivers and lumberjacks with hideous full beards and ugly short hair - or even worse, the "Hitler youth" look - officially called "the undercut" - and women should still find them irresistible.
Men have to stop being such lazy assholes and think about what women want for a change. They no longer have the luxury of not caring about women's desires.
Men have to stop being such lazy assholes and think about what women want for a change. They no longer have the luxury of not caring about women's desires.