Monday, January 24, 2011

more on the discontent of cats

Really the more I think of Joe Quirk's description of cats, mentioned in the blog post from the other day, the more baffled I am - has he ever actually lived with cats? Were his cats just semi-comatose? Are my cats just complete freaks?

I mean, Jesus - if my alarm goes off and I hit the snooze button, I actually get no extra snooze - because my cats know that the alarm means it's breakfast time. They will stand on me and yell in my face - it's technically meowing, but when you're trying to sleep and they get all right up by your head and go "yaaaaaawwwwlll!" it feels like yelling. "Buddahdom? Did the Buddha ever scream in anybody's face at 6:30 AM?

And that's just for starters. My semi-feral cat Miss Willow watches the clock all day for dinner time. Although it isn't like she's goofing off until then - every hour or so it occurs to her to ask for cat treats. She screams at me then sometimes. Sometimes she hits me.

My other cat, the Siamese named Spike - but I always call him Mr. Fuzz - is less likely to hit (although he has tried that) but he's got a whole bunch of other tricks. Mr. Fuzz actually doesn't care so much about treats - although he certainly will take some if Willow is getting some - but he really cares about playing and people attention. Like most Siamese, he is very dog-like in his devotion to people. He's almost as shy around strangers as Miss Willow, but when I have guests over he will eventually come out of hiding because he misses me so much. He even lets other people pet him sometimes.

And if it's just me and it's playtime, watch out. He'll bring his mousies to me, expecting me to play with them. Sometimes we are out of mousies and he'll bring me the empty bag that the mousies came in, just to remind me about mousies.

One of the most cute and yet intensely annoying things he does - if I am not paying enough attention to him he will go into a closet or another room and start meowing - and Siamese cat meows can sound like crying babies - almost impossible to ignore. And he'll keep it up until I say "where's Mr. Fuzz?" And then he immediately comes out of the closet or comes running into the room.

And if I pay too much attention to Miss Willow, Mr. Fuzz gets mad. Sometimes you can even hear him - if he's on the other side of the room and I pet Miss Willow, or talk nicely to her, you can hear him say "Hmphf!" and then he comes running over to chase her away, hitting her on the head if necessary.

I mean, sure, they sometimes quiet down and take a nap, but cats need so much sleep because when they are awake they are totally on - ready to run and hide at a millisecond's notice. Or ready to jump four feet in the air to catch a thrown mousie toy. They play hard so they sleep hard. But Buddhadom? No fucking way.

I call this picture "portrait of two cats waiting for treats" Buddhadom my ass.