Tuesday, October 09, 2012

A dialog

(At rise: on a dating web site) 
     JERKFACE 
So I like the tight top and strict teacher/librarian look- you should post more pics like that, they have an, ahem, immediate effect on me . I wouldn't mind getting in trouble with you... 
; ) 

     WOMAN WE WILL CALL "N"
     (ignores email) 
     (Four hours later) 

     JERKFACE
Too much too soon, perhaps? Just being honest!
     N
     (ignores email) 
     (Two days later) 

     JERKFACE 
We can talk on the phone if you like. Or in person. (i'm on the upper east side in the 80's.  
      N    
     (finally had enough) 
Why would I want to talk to you on the phone? So you can jerk off while imagining I'm some kind of librarian dominatrix? There are places all over town that will be happy to accomodate your fantasies. I have my own desires that don't match what you have to offer and since I'm NOT a prostitute, it's not happening. 
     JERKFACE
Your wish is my command. ;) 
      (attempts to establish sexting session) 
     N 
   [*BLOCK*]
Why don't I just quit this stupid thing? I've met exactly one attractive man here in five years and he moved to San Francisco.
            (The sound of teeth gnashing.)

          THE END