Sunday, September 19, 2010

Amazing sexual ignorance

A play about a dominatrix was read at NYCPlaywrights a year or so ago, and during the post-reading feedback session I was amazed to learn that one of the playwrights in the room, a man in his early 50s, was completely unfamiliar with the term "golden showers."

Firstly, the sexual revolution happened before his time and books like "The Joy of Sex" had had multiple editions by the time he came of age. And in the past ten years there has been the Internet, where you could learn anything about any kink and then watch a video demonstration. You don't have to be into a kink to be aware of its existence, especially if you are a playwright and therefore at least literate and culturally aware.

So I was astounded to discover recently that another playwright of my acquaintance, also in his early 50s, was unfamiliar with the term "69" - I mean, that's not even a kink, that's pretty much plain vanilla sex, or maybe arguably French vanilla but still - how could you NOT KNOW what that term means after over fifty years on this planet? And not on this planet among the Amish - both playwrights are college-educated lifelong liberals and residents of blue states.

But also - aren't men supposed to be obsessed with sex? Aren't they supposed to think about it, like, every 7 seconds? Are they just thinking about the missionary position every time?

Actually the every 7 seconds thing was debunked. But even if you don't think about sex that often, wouldn't any healthy adolescent or adult want to know everything they could about sex, whether or not they wanted to do everything? I mean, sure there are some paraphilias that don't even seem sexual, or are repulsive, but I'm still fascinated by the idea that some people do find them erotic. Wikipedia has a list of paraphilias here. I mean "Emetophilia"? How could anybody get off on vomit? The thought makes me want to - oh nevermind.

And really, I don't recall making an effort to learn about golden showers or sixty-nine - the information was just out there and I picked up on it, by the time I was sixteen.

But this puts so much into perspective - for example the fact that the Delaware Republicans just nominated a woman who is against masturbation. I mean, if well-educated men from liberal backgrounds can be unaware of non-obscure sexual practices, what can we expect from people over 60 (and most Teabaggers are over 60 - and of course the Teabaggers ALL had to be explained the sexual meaning of "teabagger") in backwards red states?

That's probably why Bill Clinton's blowjob was such a big deal in the USA - probably an amazing number of people here have never even heard of fellatio.