Well it turns out there's plenty of Wifi locations in Astoria, so the cable modem fail isn't as awful as I feared it would be. The closest location is Brooklyn Bagel on 30th Ave... although the Starbucks on Steinway and the McDonald's all have Wifi too, apparently. I had no idea there was so much Wifi, but then I never needed to know until now..
In addition to Wifi locations, you can also get a drag show with brunch in Astoria, also on 30th Ave. You can learn more about the Sunday morning brunch here. I went with my daughter and her girlfriend who are both sort of connoisseurs of drag, and they weren't especially impressed. It was my first drag show since the Ladyboys of Bangkok in Edinburgh - and this was nothing like that. The banter could have been wittier, I will say that. But the Eggs Florentine was pretty good.