Well I guess I should have seen this coming. I put out a call for plays to take place on the subway for the NYCPlaywrights play of the month - to be videotaped in an actual subway car - and in addition to the usual crassness, monologues and plays that were way over 10 pages I had to deal with people who expected us to go through quite a bit of hassle - or break the law - for their 10-minute play.
One play called for a dog who just sat there for 10 minutes. Dogs are illegal on the MTA unless you have a service dog (like a seeing-eye dog) and I am not about to track one down - or rent one - just for a 10-minute video sequence. I told the author we couldn't use her play, and she said she figured I could get permission to use a regular dog when I was asking for permission to videotape on the subway. I didn't bother to tell her that I wasn't planning to file a filming permit with the city of New York for this thing either.
I guess I should feel flattered - clearly NYCPlaywrights is coming off as a much more sophisticated outfit than it actually is.
Then there was the play that called for the actor to tag the subway door, you know, with permanent marker. Then there was the one that called for gunplay in a crowded subway car.
Get real people.