Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Why Valentine's Day is idiotic

Because it encourages assholes like the NYTimes John Tierney to write stupid articles about Valentine's Day, including this list on how to get laid:
• Tell your wife you adore her.

• Suggest an activity that's fun.

• Do your share of child care.

• Do your part with chores.

• Listen without judging.

• Praise her.

• Support her interests.

• Say, "I understand," when she expresses her emotions.

What will you, as a man, get out of doing these stupid womanish wastes of time? Tierney sums it up:
Wives also (and Haltzman presents supporting data here on the gender gap in libido) tend to make the decision on whether to have sex.

Did that last sentence get your attention, gentlemen? Then enough talk. Start working on that list.
What I want to know is, if men have so much stronger libidos than women, why don't men try to dress and act sexy for women by wearing revealing, uncomfortable clothing the way women are supposed to? Why is it that females have to go to such great lengths to spark male sexual desire if men have such strong libidos to begin with?

Because we live in a Patriarchy, and as Twisty Faster will tell you, females are the sex class.

I would suggest that weaker libido or not, women do get bored of sex with the same person quicker than men do. If Tierney was really worried about women's libidos he'd suggest wives take lovers. But this solution is anathema to the Patriarchy.

Valentine's Day represents the traditional bribing of women to have sex by offering candy and flowers. But now that women can earn their own money, they aren't as cheap to bribe as they used to be. And even John Tierney knows it.

It's time for John Tierney to give up on human interactions with females and just get himself a prostitute when he wants sex. Then he wouldn't have to pretend to give a shit about his wife's interests or feelings in order to get laid and the world would be a more honest, content place.