Sunday, December 14, 2014

Worst Christmas party ever

I just escaped got home from the worst Christmas party ever. It took me 90 minutes to get from the depths of Brooklyn back to Astoria, and while the A/C subway line must be the shittiest of all, like waiting in the subway station for thirty minutes and then getting on a smelly crappy train with loud obnoxious people sitting in front of the subway maps, it was worth every minute of not being at that party.

I've been to bad parties before and normally wouldn't bother to mention it, but this was so amazingly, epically bad, I just have to memorialize it on this here blog.

The best part is, it appears to still be going on based on the Facebook photos.

I showed up there with two bottles of a very palatable pinot noir - which was completely unappreciated by the other party guests. The "party" consisted of a tiny living room with a sofa and a coffee table, and the eight of us party attendees sitting around the coffee table playing a hideously crass, stupid card game that advertises itself as being a party game for horrible people which completely lived up to that motto. And of course really bad non-Christmas rock music.

I was there for an hour and a half and that card game is ALL that happened at this party. I would have liked to chat with people a little, but there was no time for that because they had to play this boring, moronic card game. I've never felt so alienated by seven other people in my entire life. I sat there trying to act like I wasn't appalled and when I couldn't take the torture any longer I left there, wanting to kill myself.

Happy holidays!