Secret Sonnet #1

Why can't I hate you as I know I should?
Public opinion says you don't deserve
Anything from me but scorn - oh God would
That I could - but my impulse is to serve
You as a meek chastened housewife serves He
Who Must Be Obeyed, but with my full will
Enlisted. I smile contentedly,
Fetch your pipe and slippers, then wait until
You give me a sign that it is now time
To perform at last the most sacred chore
For the head of the household - it's a crime
To long to do my duty til I'm sore,
A crime against all that is just, yet a
Joyful surrender, my raison d'etre.

Secret Sonnet #2

You are most welcome, my dear lost darling -
You read my sonnets! I am so grateful,
That the pain you inflicted means nothing
To me now. I'll admit I was hateful
And I will not plead for my righteous cause -
I'll confess anything to end this pain.
Darling does my suffering give you pause?
May I please call you darling? When the train
To Edinburgh passed through the station
At Darlington it made me think of you.
Oh wretched wild imagination
A monster that I can never subdue!
It lights me up with eternal fire,
Burns me alive with hopeless desire.

Secret Sonnet #3

I possess not what is necessary
To win your love. In a world much better
I could seduce you sonnetarily,
With iambus, syllable and letter.
Fondle your bottom with dactylic craft,
Preposition through the hair of your chest,
Simile like hands on your rising shaft,
Apostrophe, guide his lips to my breast.
Much ink has spilled in praise of desire,
And now carbon units have been wasted.
Forever will love's anguish inspire
Words for passionfruit not to be tasted.
But even if you said death us do part
My sonnets will outlive your mortal heart.

Secret Sonnet #4

What is it about you my darling sweet
That evokes such strong tenderness in me,
Combined with brute lust that makes my heart beat
Strong, fast, loud? It is an absurdity,
I'm well aware, to be so passionate
For someone whom I am quite smarter than;
Enslaved by desire intemperate
For such a silly hapless little man!
But when you spoke in the kink-tailed cat's voice
My fate was sealed - abject yours forever.
Goddam you - stealing my dignified choice
Away - I knew you would love me - never.
Oh! Why can't I know, even once, this bliss:
Every square inch of your dear flesh to kiss.

Secret Sonnet #5

If you should give your darling self to me
I fear I'd not with slow grace disrobe you
As I should. Accept my apology,
Blame my excitement for what I may do -
Tear your clothes away, all impatient haste
To see you in your sweet naked glory,
Then lay you down not a moment to waste
To win at last long longed-for victory.
Sky-clad will I be as I mount astride
My little pony, ecstatic cowgirl,
See the white breasts, pink-tipped, bounce for the ride.
I hope I don't swoon - just feel the bed whirl.
Straddled as such on love's noble mission -
My sacred quest and dearest ambition.

Secret Sonnet #6

Dearest darling, don't you wish to bring joy
Into the sad world? Besides performance
For the stage? Come play my beloved boy
In venues more intimate. The entrance
Of the Venusian delta awaits
Her stern wooden soldier, master and lord
Of the glistening pink domain - the gates
Open and Private Johnson bobs forward:
Now show us the animal grace I know
You possess - possess the slick rosy slit
In most certain terms, relentlessly show
Her you are her boss and sweet quiver split.
Oh god if you will not soon be so kind
I fear I will lose my despairing mind.

Secret Sonnet #7

Upon a mid-day dreary at my trade
I ponder if it's you that I adore
Or some unworldly shadow that I made -
A mere shade. Only this and nothing more.
Despair comes blacker than a raven's wing
And only fantasy can make me well
With bliss the true deluded mind can bring
To save me from a serpent-tortured hell.
Cloud Cuckoo Land where we, impassioned, love
On petals blessed by rosy-fingered Dawn;
No croaking fiend in feathers black above;
In Cuckoo Land my love will turn you on.
Pallas frowns - her wrath falls fierce and mighty
On such sorry fools of Aphrodite.

Secret Sonnet #8

Oh darling, how I long for you sometimes!
Why I am possessed of this unholy
Obsession I cannot say - all these rhymes
Pour out in tribute to you, love, solely,
Whether you deserve such honor or no.
And they are but rhyme, they have no reason
That Logic would claim as her own. But though
Cool sense defies you, my heart cries treason.
Please take me to bed in spite of our rift,
Free of inhibitions and free of clothes -
But you can wear your boots, to you my gift.
You once offered to perform in just those!
Thus prepared, we will get right to our task.
Pretty pretty please, love, that's all I ask.

Secret Sonnet #9

Oh darling, break the icy cold silence
Encasing your heart. I was a true friend
And I blameless proclaim my innocence
Of all wrongs that brought on the big chill. Tend
Your fallen comrade with sweet tenderness
Cut down in the cause of your own glory
My unjust battle scars your mercy bless
And in fairness, attend my war story.
I have struggled with my feelings and though
Over seven months now, yet it seems more,
Hate versus love, love won, but this you know -
I have unpacked my poor heart like a whore.
Life is short, then we die, you well know this,
But you could know pleasure, I could know bliss.

Secret Sonnet #10

I do not want you, sir, truly I don't,
And I spend my precious free time thinking
Of other men besides you, and I won't
Beg, iambically, nor go drinking
Too much wine, crying over what is not.
My brain and my other parts are just fine.
But my anarchist breasts it seems, have got
A problem with this and they do so whine.
They demand you come and fondle them - now.
They complain they are aching for your touch,
They cry - kiss our hard nipples! - hear them howl
Inside my brassiere - oh this is too much!
Can my co-workers hear them from their cubes?
Shut up morons - what a pair of big boobs!

Secret Sonnet #11

Do you enjoy my sonnets darling love?
Are they feeding that huge ego within?
You have been sonnetized, my darling dove,
You are one cool dude, in like Errol Flynn.
Of all Americans who are online
The number who care for sonnets are few -
Of all our fellow citizens I find
Those truly interested are - just you.
Let me read them to you, amorously,
Wearing a bustier, silk stockings, heels,
More than any false wife, glamorously,
While straddling you - let's see how that feels.
It makes me bitter to think of that cheat,
But for you, darling, I could be so sweet.

Secret Sonnet #12

Do you finally get it, darling mine?
I contain multitudes like Walt Whitman.
I'm not a used-up workhorse you consign
To a dogfood fate in a small tin can.
Your scolding society mistook me
For an easy mark. The she-parasite
Thought I could be destroyed so handily -
She built the pyre, you set it alight.
You must have laughed at my immolation
But sociopaths no empathy feel.
The skank surely jigged in celebration
For all the happiness that she could steal.
Mrs. Ho must find it most surprising
To see the Phoenix in glory rising.

Secret Sonnet #13

Darling, let me rest my rancor for now,
And praise my stone cold inamorato -
It feels so good to wallow and allow
The honey to voluptuously flow:
My dear precious man at once so gentle
And yet so stern, so silent and so hard,
So laissez-faire and temperamental
So lucky in devotion, so ill-starred.
Your thick silky hair, your silly sweet face
Your striking temporal deficiency,
Your criss-crossed forehead, your animal grace,
Your offset eye, your vocal quality.
No one would say you are beautiful yet
I prefer your smile to all the Met.

Secret Sonnet #14

It was a year ago today, Cheri,
I pointed my Mac cam at the sweet man
On my sofa, who hid his face, shyly,
Then revealed it. How I loved him, more than
Anything, and even his own cruelty
Could not kill my terrible affection;
Not even when he made a fool of me
Sick with the Hannah Lesion infection;
Nor even when silent Monster he turned,
Lurking around Mergatroyd and Miss Eyre;
Strangely drawn to Secret Sonnets, I've learned,
Seeming, some days, to come from anywhere.
The Sofa Man is gone, there is no doubt -
Accept it, Heart, or I will rip you out.