Goddam Sonnet 1
Please never again say his name aloud
It is more than I can bear, so intense
My response to six mere syllables. Proud
Was I to at last recover some sense
From insanity and time's long delay
Tricks I have used, and methods have employed
I lately tell myself that he is gay.
Then that noise - and certainty is destroyed.
First in the throat comes a short high-pitched growl
Followed by three sounds of sweet variety
Opening with a melodious vowel
O live right here on my tongue, trinity.
Last name is heaven, hell and all between -
Carnal and Frenchie and rhymes with obscene.
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Goddam Sonnet 2
O speak to me, dear Reader of my rhymes;
Reflect upon the sweetness that might be:
Oh put aside all anger and bad times -
Transcendent bliss if you but talk to me.
Is there more I might do to demonstrate
My love for you? Let me show you I can
Enrapture my own darling sweet soul mate
As no woman has done to any man.
O dearest please do not reject me still.
I have a shocking lack of pride, 'tis true
Enslaved am I to my erotic will,
And cannot help but ever think of you.
My soul addresses yours my Guiding Star
Standing before you, equal, as we are.
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Goddam Sonnet 3
Another surrender voluptuous
To my brutal Muse who demands sonnets.
I am his sonnet-bitch, industrious
And no longer struggle, snared in his nets.
He demands I proclaim all about you,
All fathoms-deep longing, all profound lust,
The respect your masculinity's due.
The prior sentence inflames me. Unjust
To strip me bare of all my defenses,
And parade around the helpless white slave,
Love and affection my sole offenses,
For that I'm condemned to publicly rave.
"Write more sonnets and maybe" Master said,
"You'll finally get him naked in bed."
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Goddam Sonnet 4
Beat quiet heart, the trouble is gone now.
Those who would thrash you to a bloody mess
Who hurt you simply because they knew how
Whose greatest joy in life was your distress
Who repaid all your kindness and concern
With a sheer sociopathic contempt -
Be quiet and calm, then reflect and learn:
How could you believe you would be exempt
From the extreme evil bestriding Earth?
People have murdered their spouses for cash,
Parents have beaten their children from birth,
How fortunate life is gone in a flash.
Give up your endless questioning and sigh
There is no answer, nor will be, to "why?"
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Goddam Sonnet 5
Dear beloved soul whom I know so well,
I mourn for you locked in such stone cold frame.
To be parted from you is holy hell
And I proclaim I adore you sans shame.
How is it possible that you are trapped
Inside a cruel and petty little man?
Who needs a shaking, whose face should be slapped
For refusing ever to understand
That devotion is scarce to be found
In the lives of most on this damned planet
More precious than platinum by the pound,
Should be welcomed by sweetness not granite.
But rave no more - Reason take the controls.
An atheist does not believe in souls.
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Goddam Sonnet 6
Let us become strangers again dearest,
And avoid all the anger and regret.
You do feel regret sometimes, unrepressed,
Surely? Even if it means I forget
Those sweet days cooking up plans together.
You hummed to yourself dear sweet baritone,
I gave you hearty red wine and dinner,
So happy to be with you all alone.
But no, never mind, a sacrifice small
To blot out the heartbreak that followed.
And your exquisite performances, all
Erased, by agony made unhallowed.
It hurts like hell, mean means to a good end,
But I'd endure more to be your new friend.
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Goddam Sonnet 7
Five o'clock, time for another sonnet.
You seem to like the sexy ones the best,
And I do like to please you, soubriquet.
Dreaming dreams, my hand is on a man's chest,
His heart is beating and his eyes are blue,
And his costume is Regency splendor.
He is you but at the same time not you -
Therefore may I caress him without more
Complaints from Sense and Sensibility,
But wallow in sensual abandon
Pricked in a thorn field of carnality.
Hopes fulfilled, desire's consummation,
Caressing my darling's thighs and between
Your essence ambrosia for a Queen.
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Goddam Sonnet 8
I know you don't believe in forgiveness -
I forgive you anyway. But never
Will I comprehend the cause of this mess
Or the need to banish me forever.
I wrote things to you that were unpleasant
But not without cause. I was sore provoked -
You were no saint and deliberately sent
Me to my private hell. God how I choked
Back anguish. But how came you to hate me?
Because I hopeless wished you for my beau?
Or because I perceived her deviltry
And said so? Oh such depths please never know!
Fair is foul, foul fair, Baggins understood.
Although I am not nice - yet I am good.
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Goddam Sonnet 9
The sonnet-well runs dry, my compulsion:
Not even my steadfast heart can outlast
Eternal silence, constant repulsion.
The forsaken warm-blooded moves to cast
Her long-held affection, speckled with pain
Into currents of the Ocean of Time,
Losing the bittersweet burden to gain
Tranquility. Back to prose over rhyme,
She unmoors SS Imagination
From the silly and once-precious harbor,
Consigns her darling with resignation
To vipers nesting in the theater sore.
Don't try to fight them, you will be out-ganged.
And trust the lot as you would adders fanged.
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Goddam Sonnet 10
Oh please I'm begging you on bended knee,
You whom I find so easy to love, though
You have made the word wicked mockery
And should blush in shame, I beg you to show
I had reason to esteem you so high.
Reassure me I wrung such agony
From my heart for two endless years, to die
By degrees for someone uncowardly.
Divine my shallow en-graved emotion,
Renew the silver stream, the life-giving
Senamensing of my old devotion,
Only through love are we truly living.
You could be intrepid if you but choose,
There's naught but bone dry bitterness to lose.
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