Goddam Sonnet

Please never again say his name aloud
It is more than I can bear, so intense
My response to six mere syllables. Proud
Was I to at last recover some sense
From insanity and time's long delay
Tricks I have used, and methods have employed
I lately tell myself that he is gay.
Then that noise - and certainty is destroyed.
First in the throat comes a short high-pitched growl
Followed by three sounds of sweet variety
Opening with a melodious vowel
O live right here on my tongue, trinity.
Last name is heaven, hell and all between -
Carnal and Frenchie and rhymes with obscene.