New Leaf Sonnet #7

What will it take for me to forget you
Entirely? I make progress for days
Sometimes - you fade to a ghost I see through -
A heartless fiend with nasty friends - a haze
Of bad feelings: of loathing; shame; and all
My stupid silly doting all in vain.
I think I am no longer in your thrall;
In losing you I have the world to gain.
Then a short sharp shock of cruel remembrance:
A man on the 5 train sporting sideburns
And I'm thrown into an erotic trance
And traitor heart, again, against me turns.
Awful realization: it will take years
Of pain and regret and drowning in tears