The world of blogdom is certainly a strange one. You never really know people, although you start to think you do.
I had previously thought Chris Clarke was actually pretty cool, since I always liked his redo of wingnut Chris Muir's Day by Day, but when I got into an argument with him over whether a friend of his, who had posted a comment on his blog, had wingnut tendencies (and I didn't know it was a friend when I first suggested she had those tendencies) he ultimately said:
I was objecting to you doing your usual, tedious sociopathy schtick in my joint.
Naturally he refused to explain his nasty slur, and then he shut me out of the thread.
Now this is really weird. I mean, getting into debates, even feisty ones, is pretty standard on blogs, especially on blogs heavy on political themes - in this case the topic was feminism. And I didn't even know he knew who I was, much less knew enough about me to hate my guts.
Chris Clarke himself is not a person who shies away from getting into extended online debates on other people's blogs. In fact, I think he contributes to online discussions more than I do. So what is it that makes me a sociopath, and presumably not Chris Clarke? I mean, I'm opinionated, and I like to think I'm pretty good in an online debate, but I like to socialize with people in pretty regular ways. I run a playwrights group, I've had a variety of jobs including teaching - which I was told I was very good at.
So what would make someone like Chris Clarke have what I consider to be a meltdown and get all authoritarian and over-the-top insulting, over a fairly insignificant argument?
One theory I have is that he really likes the woman he feels I insulted, and wants to impress her with his defense of her honor. It's just a theory though.
I'd like to think it's because I held my own pretty well in the debate, but of course that's self-serving so I don't trust it.
Maybe he's just a crusty middle-aged guy who is really territorial about his blog, and won't take any lip from anybody.
It really makes me appreciate the thick skins of bloggers like
Echidne and
Pandagon, where you can actually get into vehement, strongly-worded disagreements with the blog owners or their friends and not be called a crazy person.
I recently had a troll who liked to say annoying EvPsych things about women, but it took me weeks to end the discussion when I didn't think it was worthwhile, and was becoming really annoying. It took Chris Clarke about an hour, and I was most sincerely not trying to be a troll. I think the woman sounded like a wingnut. Maybe my argument for why she sounded like a wingnut wasn't convincing, but it wasn't because I didn't try to make an argument, rather than just be insulting.
Is it him? Me? Or is this just all a typical blog tempest in a teapot?
UPDATE: I see I made an error in the comment thread, at one point responding to someone named Rob G. when I thought I was responding to Chris Clarke. That was careless of me. But of course that could have been sorted out if I hadn't been summarily cut off. Well, as a friend of mine used to say, "the tiniest bit of power corrupts absolutely."
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UPDATE 2: wow, the blog world is really through the looking glass. I thought that Chris Clarke shut down the thread, since that would have been the fair thing to do - what was I thinking? - but instead it's just me that's banned, but other people are welcome to post comments taking shots at me. I see that some coward named "Helena" who I can't trace from her signature, posted a nasty comment about me, making it sound as if I'm banned all the time. This is ridiculous. I was banned by ginmar, but I was on my way out anyway. I don't stick around anywhere I'm not welcome. And now Chris Clarke bans me for saying his friend who complains that feminism is too much about "victimization" sounds like a wingnut. I still think she does.
Anyway, I have no idea who this Helena is, I don't remember ever talking to her. I assume she's a ginmarette, since they always seem to stick together. What a bunch of nasty critters there are in blogostan. And that's not even counting the wingnuts!
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UPDATE 3 - and last hopefully - Wow, Ann Bartow posted something in my defense on the thread. She is the coolest of the cool. She restores my faith in bloggerdom.
I really enjoy a good online debate, and don't care who I'm arguing with, but rather just focus on the argument itself. I do like to win online arguments and I think I'm pretty successful. Not like this is a really useful talent to have, though, it's mainly a timekiller like video gaming. And I'd trade it for being a math genius or totally buff in a second, but it gets my brain humming. It really doesn't make me Ms. Popularity, of course - but I don't think it makes me a sociopath either.
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ALAS, UPDATE 4 - my troll Alan has stalked me to Creek Running North, and of course is free to comment on that thread while I am not. Well in case anybody's interested, I already pointed out on this post that I put up with Alan for weeks before banning him, while Chris Clarke put up with me for less than an hour. But that's exactly why I stopped dealing with Alan - I found I simply couldn't reason with him, and he ignored anything I said that he didn't want to hear. I told him repeatedly I didn't want to argue with him because there was nothing in it for me. Nobody should be expected to put up with more than a few weeks of cyberstalking.
Alan, if I let him, would attack me daily, making any number of outrageous claims about me based on nothing but his imagination, not to mention wacky claims about women's nature based on the barest grasp of the principles of Evolutionary Psychology, and then turn around and share oddly personal revelations and positive messages with me. It was just too weird and twisted to deal with.
I guess the stalking will continue by proxy at Creek Running North now.
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FINAL UPDATE FOR SURE - yes, the Internet is a funny place. One of the most significant things is that it allows you to see group dynamics played out in black and white. Gossip and innuendo and defamation are typed out in complete sentences. And some people have really long memories, and really resent it when they lose an online debate.
As I said, that's one of the great things about Pandagon and Echidne. I've been involved in many debates on those sites, and usually I'm not even the harshest commenter. But if I think I have a good argument, I won't back down, even if I'm arguing with the person who owns the blog, or one of their online friends. And only on those two blogs, and maybe a handful of others, will that not render you persona non grata. Well, people aren't interested in a vigorous debate, generally speaking, they just want affirmation from their pals.
But other than disagreeing with a couple of touchy blog owners, or friends, and not backing down in some online debates - and the majority of my contributions to online discussion isn't debates, it's one-off comments, and I've simply said on many occasions "that's right!" or "good argument!" - what have I done that's really objectionable? Nobody seems to have specifics, just personal attacks unsupported by any evidence. No big surprise, I've debated lots of people who couldn't be bothered to back up a single claim with evidence, why should their attacks on me be any different?
Well... it all seems pretty silly after you've had a good night's sleep.
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OK, this is not really an update. Tigtog wrote in the comments:
"Nancy, amongst all your updates don't you think it's worth noting that Chris, far from enabling Alan as a free-for-all ranter against you in your absence, actually asked Alan to not trash you in that thread, and that Alan agreed to abide by that?"
As I said in my response, I stopped following that thread once Alan showed up.
And I would have sooner or later anyway - no fun in being the mute visitor to a hate rally in your honor.
I appreciate that Chris Clarke stood up to Alan, although last I looked Alan wasn't the only one making a bunch of unsupported low-down characterizations about me and my online adventures.
I just hope this incident scored CC some big points with that damsel in distress, and they can bond out in the meadow down by the crick, stomping blown-up copies of my blog photo into the mud whilst singing "ding dong the witch is dead." Few things bring people closer together.